


Break My Heart Again

by CharmedLuna



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, But Mostly Smut, Drama, Emotional Abuse, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Hurt, Manga Spoilers, Romance, Sad, Smut, Verbal Abuse, trigger warning, with plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:41:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 44,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25604497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharmedLuna/pseuds/CharmedLuna
Summary: Riko broke Wakatoshi's heart six years ago.Fate has brought them together once more.Is he able to forgive her? Or will his pride and hurt feelings get in the way?SEQUEL toHaunted
Relationships: Ushijima Wakatoshi/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 61





	1. and I run for miles just to get a taste

**Author's Note:**

> there will be some manga spoilers. fair warning.
> 
> title credit: 'break my heart again' by FINNEAS

Riko was able to walk into the restaurant, but she almost grabbed her dad’s arm and pretend to be sick. He would believe her. He could take over the meeting. She didn’t need to be there. There was going to be a translator for him. She couldn’t imagine sitting down on a table with Wakatoshi. Not after all these years and not after he just looked past her.

But before she could even come up with a decent plan, they reached a table. To her surprise, it wasn’t with Wakatoshi.

The two men sitting down on a table were some familiar faces. This trip was last minute, so she hardly had time to prepare to find out who she was meeting. She just knew it was going to be two important people.

The two gentlemen stood up and bowed respectfully at them. Riko did the same and her dad did the same.

“Yaku-san,” Riko greeted, “Kuroo-san,” she turned to the taller of the two. “Thank you for joining us.”

“It’s no problem,” Yaku grinned. His watch blinded her for a moment. She took in the moment to take in what he was wearing. An expensive three-piece suit that matched his accessories. He had a friendly smile and she recalled watching him play six years ago.

The four of them sat down. Riko and her dad on one side and the Nekoma guys on the other side. She wondered if Kuroo remembered her. She only sat with him and Kenma for the last two sets of a game. Kuroo narrowed his eyes and she knew he was recalling her.

“Wait…are you…?” Kuroo started but then waved a hand. . “Uh…sorry. I thought you were related to—”

“Hinata, Shoyo from Karasuno?” she finished with a smile. “He’s my little brother.”

Their eyes widened.

“So, it is you! From Nationals!” Kuroo clapped his hands and it boomed across the restaurant.

She stiffened at the thought of Wakatoshi hearing that. He had to. She didn’t have the courage to look around to try to find him. She was sure he was around, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She didn’t want to see that vacant look in his eyes as he looked at her earlier as if she didn't exist.

Riko could see her dad was glad she had a close rapport with them. She understood he did his homework and chose her to come with him because of this reason. Yaku and Kuroo knew her relation with someone they knew. Someone they admired and respected, so they would trust her. Trust them.

“Yes,” she replied.

“Shoyo-kun said you were an artist though,” Kuroo turned suspicious for a moment.

Her throat dried up but forced a smile. “A hobby. Nothing else. I just wanted to thank you, Yaku-san for making the trip from Russia.”

His cheeks tinted a soft pink. “It was no problem…eh…I had other meetings as well.”

“Still thank you,” she bowed her head.

Business was put aside as they ordered food and drinks. She was so happy to speak Japanese again. It felt so natural and she did forget a word or two for a moment, but she quickly recalled it. She was glad she continued watching anime to keep herself updated. Even at her age, she still did things she enjoyed.

The food came and she was so happy to have Yakotori. There was nothing like authentic Japanese food. Six years was a long time. She didn’t think about it too much because it made her heart ache. 

“So, where did you go to school?” Kuroo asked her.

She finished chewing and then took a sip of her water. “I went to Harvard.” She answered. “Graduated top of my class.”

“And you are the heir to the Crawford empire,” Kuroo grinned.

She smiled but held no surprise on her face. “You did your homework.”

He shrugged. “It is my job. To make sure my friend is going to be in good hands.”

“I can’t believe you are related to Hinata,” Yaku chuckled.

She nodded her head. “Yes, it surprises everyone who finds out. Yaku-san, let’s get to business,” the air around her changed and both guys noticed right away. Her eyes turned sharp and Kuroo admitted he was a little turned on. “You need representation when you join the Japan National Team.”

Yaku’s smile turned wicked. “Yes. My Russian lawyer does not get me. But should it be you? Just because you are related to a good volleyball player?”

“Not only that, but we will fight to make sure you get the best deal,” she was able to ease into her lawyer role very easily.

Her dad watched proudly beside her. He knew he wouldn’t have to say much. She could easily close the deal.

“Your firm has barely opened in Japan, yes?” Yaku asked and she nodded in response. “You are too new to make connections.”

It was her turn to smirk wickedly. “We are Crawford’s. We have had connections in Japan for years. We’ve always planned to expand here, so we started to make deals and get a good reputation because we knew where we were headed.” It was at the end of her sentence she knew Yaku was going to hire them.

Yaku grinned. “I can see the resemblance now,” and chuckled. “You and Hinata have the same intense stare when you’re determined. You’re just as scary as him. A little more to be honest.”

Riko returned the grin. “Good to hear that.”

“It’s been a long time since you’ve been to Japan, yes?” Kuroo asked.

Everyone was more relaxed now that the business was done and over with. She answered Kuroo with a nod of her head and a sheepish smile.

“School has been my focus all these years.”

“Then it seems we deserve a night out,” the taller man leaned in. “We are going out with drinks with some old friends. Come with us.”

Riko licked her lips and glanced at her dad who gave her a short nod.

“Of course, she will go!” her dad beamed. “You young people have to take advantage of being alive. Go ahead, sweetie, I’ll be back at the hotel. Just let me know when you get to your room.”

“We will take care of her,” Yaku bowed his head.

“Excuse me,” she stood up, “I have to use the restroom.” She made her way to the bathroom and she moved quickly so she wouldn’t dare try to find Wakatoshi. She didn’t even use the restroom. She just needed a breather. She washed her hands and she dabbed some on the back of her neck to cool herself down.

It was hard to be in Japan. She thought she was going to be able to handle it. But guilt ate at her. She didn’t expect to run into the person she hurt the most right away. What were the chances they’d be at the same place?

Her dad didn’t seem to notice her distraught. She was glad. She kept her love for Wakatoshi to herself. She didn’t want it to be used against her. One less weapon for her family to use.

She washed her hands one more time and then headed outside. At the same time on the other end of the hallway where the men’s restroom was at Wakatoshi walked out. Like a deer caught in the headlights her eyes were wide.

This time he looked right into her eyes. And this time she knew he recognized her because his eyes narrowed, and he looked upset.

What should she say? What could she say?

Her mouth was opening and closing like a fish out of water. Her mind went white. But he moved before she did and soon, he was right in front of her.

His chest filled her entire vision. She noticed he was wearing a suit. She inhaled his cologne. It was different, but he smelled good.

“It’s you, isn’t it?” his deep voice made her knees weak. Her chin tilted upwards and she didn’t know she would see pain in his eyes. “I thought I had imagined you. Again. But it is really you.” He lifted his hand and he caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers.

She gasped at the familiar warmth. She closed her eyes briefly enjoying the moment for as long as she could.

He caught the ends of her hair. She had recently cut it again since it had grown past her shoulders again. She liked it short. He rubbed her hair between his fingers.

“Waka—”

“Ushijima,” he corrected her.

She felt as though she was slapped on the face.

He continued. “I believe you’ve lost the right to call me by my first name years ago.”

She gulped audibly and took a step back. “I…” her voice broke immediately. She closed her eyes but found some strength and she reopened them. “There is nothing I can say to convey how sorry I am…for what I did.”

“No, there really is nothing you can say,” he agreed his voice was cold and it hurt her heart. But what did she think was going to happen? That he would forget what she did or that he would somehow know the real reason? No, she kept him in the dark and any assumptions he made he had every right to make because she had been too weak to do what was right. “Why have you returned? Why now?”

“Riko,” another male voice spoke from behind Wakato—Ushijima. 

She looked to the left of Ushijima and saw Kuroo. His eyes quickly accessed the situation.

“Ushijima-san, good to see you,” Kuroo kept a smile and acted as though there was absolutely no tension.

“Kuroo-san,” Ushijima turned around to face him. “How are you?”

“I am great! Just helped Yakkun hire Riko-chan~ over there as his lawyer.”

Riko didn’t dare look to see if that impressed him. That she was a lawyer at their age. Most people found it impressive, but it didn’t seem to faze him.

“Are you here with your manager?” Kuroo inquired.

“Yes. She found another sponsorship for me and wanted to talk about it.”

“Sounds something like she could have emailed you about. Funny how she chose to bring you here to tell you,” Kuroo glanced over to Riko and then returned his eyes to Ushijima.

The old Nekoma middle blocker was clearly stating that the manager had a thing for Ushijima. If Kuroo wanted to see her reaction, she merely turned her head away and hoped the dim lit hallway didn’t show her red face. Or her eyes.

“Excuse me, I’ll let you two catch up,” she started to walk past Ushijima, but he grabbed her wrist.

“We are not done,” Ushijima’s icy tone continued, and his hold didn’t hurt. She could easily break it if she wanted to. But feeling his flesh on hers burned in a way that reminded her that she was alive. She was a human being with feelings. “Is that all you have to say to me?” It was clearly directed towards her, but she didn’t face him. She kept her back to him. She didn't want to bring Kuroo into her problems.

“Oh yes, you two went to Shiratorizwa,” Kuroo searched her face to see if she needed help, but she clearly didn’t. She wasn’t in any danger. Even if Ushijima was three times her size, she wasn’t afraid of him physically. But she did need to get away and Kuroo could see that.

“Only one of us graduated from there,” the ace released her wrist as if touching her hurt him.

“Well, if you two need more time to catch up, we are headed to a club. It’s the one two blocks over that just opened,” Kuroo took Riko’s wrist and pulled her over to him gently and place his arm over her shoulder. “Please join us, Ushijima-san. I’m sure you two have much to talk about.”

Ushijima watched as Kuroo pulled Riko out of sight. He didn’t know today would be the day when the ghost of his past would come back to haunt him. He truly thought he had imagined her outside of the restaurant. It wasn’t the first time he would see her in other women. He had a few awkward times when he would chase down women down the street only to find out it wasn’t her.

He looked down at his left hand. The one that had held her wrist. His body had reacted before his brain did. The moment he felt the warmth of her skin he was on fire.

“Ushi-kun~,” a hand waved in front of his face.

He blinked and looked down at his manager Gin, Harumi. Her smile was friendly, but she had a confused look.

“Is everything okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” she joked.

Ushijima placed his hand down. Now that Riko was gone again, he was shaking from head to toe. Why was she back? Right when he thought he was able to move on. He was back to dating. He had a good date last week. He had planned to see her again. But in this moment, he couldn’t recall that woman’s name, her face. All he could see was Riko. Her eyes just as expressive as ever. Those brown eyes he had memorized and he saw every time he closed his eyes even after all this time. 

He saw guilt in them. He saw sadness in them. He saw love in them. So why did she leave? Why did she abandon him?

He needed answers.

“Ushi-kun,” Gin waved her hand again.

“What is the name of the club that opened recently that’s two blocks away?” he knew she would know because she liked to go out to clubs. She often asked him to go. To relax but he always declined because he didn’t like loud places. Especially crowded ones.

Gin blinked in surprise and then cheered. “You finally want to go to one?”

“Sure,” he gave nothing else away.

“It’s called ‘The Buzz’,” she told him and then took out her phone. “I’ll call ahead and get us a VIP room.”


	2. that one person who will always have your heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: my boo by usher

“So…you and Ushijima?” Kuroo asked as he and Riko went back to join Yaku. She could see the table where they were and saw that her dad had left. “Come on, that’s big news!”

Before they reached the table, she stopped and turned to Kuroo. He dropped his smirk when he saw her face. She looked so sad. The little color she had on her cheeks were gone. He felt bad for teasing her now.

“Thank you for inviting me out, but I will have to decline. If he’s going to be there…” she closed her eyes and took a deep breath and then opened them she shook her head. “I appreciate the offer. You are very kind, like I remember,” she forced a smile.

“Look,” Kuroo leaned down to be closer to her level, she was reminded of their height difference and his eyes became serious, “he’s a jerk for letting you go. Plus, you can make him jealous by dancing with me,” he winked.

She chuckled lightly at his offer. “Thanks, but he didn’t hurt me.” She rubbed the back of her neck and bit her bottom lip. She had to be honest. She didn’t to tarnish Ushijima’s reputation. “I’m the one who kind of ended things.”

“Kind of?” he lifted an eyebrow he wanted to know more, but he could see it was making her uncomfortable and he understood they barely knew each other. “Well, regardless, you look like you need a night off. Have some fun. Plus, that club is huge, so the chances that we actually run into him are very small.”

Riko thought about it. The last time she did have fun was months ago. She didn’t even to celebrate graduating because she came straight to Japan with her dad. For years her whole life revolved around school and being at the top of her class. The last time she had a vacation was three years ago when she went to Brazil to visit Shoyo.

Three years was a long time. She did deserve to have some fun and she trusted Kuroo’s word.

“All right, I’ll go, but I’m going to need a change of clothes,” she gestured to her business clothes. “Do you mind if we stop by the hotel I’m staying at?”

“Of course not,” Kuroo straightened his back with a wide grin. “Tonight, will be all about having fun.”

**

“Why are you meddling, Kuroo?” Yaku and Kuroo were waiting at the lobby of the hotel for the past half hour. “It obviously makes her uncomfortable.”

“I wasn’t thinking when I invited Ushijima,” Kuroo groaned. “I just thought they were old friends at first. But it’ll be okay. She’s just…different from before.” He lifted his eyes up as he recalled meeting her at Nationals. Back then she was so excited to see her little brother play. When she found out who they were, she quickly befriended them.

Today when he recognized her, it was barely there. That spark.

“I just want her to have some fun. Plus, her dad gave me weird vibes,” Kuroo shuddered.

“Hmm, he did,” Yaku rubbed his chin. “The only reason I agreed to hire them is because of Riko. She looks like she knows what she’s doing. She’s been working since before graduating. She passed the bar exam with flying colors for the US and Japan. Well, let’s keep our word and keep her safe and have fun.”

“Thank you for waiting,” her voice came from behind Kuroo.

The taller man stood up and his eyes went wide when he saw what she was wearing.

It was a brown mini dress that hugged her curvy body. Her hair was styled up in a messy bun with some strands pulled out. Her makeup was different, but she kept it simple. She had simple jewelry. A gold necklace that brought attention to her breasts that fit snugly almost overflowing, but not quite. She kept the Chanel coat that she brought to dinner.

Riko watched as the men regained their power to speak.

“Ah, yes, it’s no problem,” Kuroo shoved his hands in his pocket. The last thing he needed was to fall for Ushijima’s ex. 

She smiled. “Let’s go dance then!” she clapped her hands and her eyes were livelier than before. 

Ushijima knew that it was stupid to be out this late when he had practice in the morning. But when it came to Riko, there was nothing he could do but gravitate towards her. Wherever she was. He checked his watch and it had been over an hour since the restaurant run in.

“Ushi-kun, let’s do dance!” his manager all but screamed into his ear.

The music was very loud that he felt the bass on the seat he was on. He was sure to have the one facing the entrance of the VIP area. He knew Kuroo would get it. He had been nursing his second drink longer than necessary.

Why was here? He asked himself as he looked away from the entrance. He should be at home. Sleeping. He should be getting ready for the upcoming finals against her brother once again. Did she know about that? Was she going to the game? And why did she shut him out?

All of these questions and he needed answers.

“Damn!” a male voice said from nearby. “That’s a nice piece.”

Ushijima all but snapped his neck back to the entrance. All of his blood left his brain and went down south. She was wearing a mini dress that showed her tanned thick legs. The straps of the dress were thin, and it showed a lot of skin. The main focus was her chest. The gold chain shined with the lights from the club. Her hair was up showing her neck. Ushijima has clear memories of kissing that neck thoroughly. It tasted so sweet.

He especially remembered the sounds that came from her sweet lips when he bit it. He clenched his hand around the glass drink, and he had to force to stop before he broke it. She was smiling. A smile he recalled a lot of times in his dreams. His memories. For a moment he forgot how she broke his heart.

“Go talk to her,” the male voices that were nearby came back to him. “Dude, she’s taken.”

Kuroo appeared behind Riko. He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulled her against him, but because he leaned down to say something in her ear. Her smile faded and her eyes flickered to his. He held her gaze and it became like they were the only two people in the world. All sounds faded and all that remained were their beating hearts. 

THUMP! THUMP!

Her eyes were still as beautiful as ever. Chocolate eyes. Cupid bow full lips, naturally. Those long eyelashes he used to admire as he watched her sleep. Those nights six years ago seemed like from another lifetime. A past life.

The spell that kept their eyes together was broken by a hand on his forearm. Riko’s eyes went to his manager and hurt flashed through them and she turned away from him. Grabbed Kuroo’s hand and led him towards stairs again probably to the dance floor.

The other person with them he recognized as Yaku followed them.

Ushijima turned his attention to Harumi had pouted her lips. “Is she someone you know?”

“My high school girlfriend,” he didn’t mind being honest.

“Your ex?”

Ushijima chuckled to himself. Technically they never actually break up. No closure, so it was no wonder he wasn’t able to move on. Then tonight was going to be the night. He was going to get his closure. Then he was going to move on. She could go back to US.

He removed Harumi’s hand from his arm. “Please do not touch me as if we are a couple. That is unprofessional.” He was aware that was harsher than he needed to be, but it seemed nothing go through her that nothing was going to happen between them. He planned to find a new manager if she continued.

He stood up and adjusted his clothes.

“Ushi-kun,” she whimpered with watered eyes. “You didn’t have to be so mean. You really shouldn’t be opening doors from the past. I saw how you looked at her, but she’s clearly here with someone else. Best of luck,” she hissed the last part and grabbed her purse.

That could have gone better, he thought to himself as he watches her leave. He walked over to the rail and overlooked the club, especially the dance floor. The drink still in his hand. Harumi’s words resonated with him. She was right. It was not the right time to be dipping his toes into his past. But Riko became a ghost that followed him throughout his life.

He saw her in other people. He dreamt of her for a long time. The only time he found relief was when he played volleyball. He rolled up his sleeves to his elbow as his eyes scanned the dance floor for Riko. He found her and the sight was bittersweet.

Not even five minutes on the dance floor and he could see the layer of sweat across her body. But her body was between the two men. Kuroo was behind her and Yaku was in front of her. The dance floor was packed so it made sense why they were so close, but he hated to see it.

He finished his drink without taking his eyes off of her.

Riko was doing a horrible job of concentrating on the two hot men she was sandwiched between. She was glad Yaku wasn’t technically her client yet or this would be very unethical. His body was pressed against hers and she even felt the ghost of his lips on her shoulder from time to time. The dance floor had been hard enough to get through to get to a good spot.

Kuroo behind her had his hands on her hips. His large hands were splayed out. He was a very good dancer.

The DJ seemed to prefer early 2000’s American songs especially R&B. Kuroo knew how to move. It helped that she had heels that made her a little taller. Her ass brushed against his crotch every now and then. At the moment ‘Candy Shop’ by 50 cents was playing.

She hoped to forget to image of Ushijima with that woman. She was beautiful and she looked at him with such admiration. Riko felt stupid for feeling so jealous. He wasn’t hers. She was the one who hurt him. He had every right to move on. Even though she didn’t.

Yaku told them he was going to get something to drink. He maneuvered his way out and then Kuroo tightened his hold on her hips and flushed her back against his chest.

His lips were suddenly near her ear. “No holding back now.”

She smirked at his words. While he was still near, she turned her head up to say something into his ear. His hand moved to her stomach.

“You’ve become so bold, Kuroo. From what I heard from Kenma, you always get nervous around the ladies.”

He chuckled and she felt it on her back. “Beautiful women have always made me nervous. You’re no exception, but…ah…our time is up.”

She wondered what he meant until she looked straight ahead. Even though she had heels, she still couldn’t look over the crowd, but she felt _his_ presence. All air left her lungs as he appeared. God, did he get taller? She asked herself. She could tell he was taller. Built bigger as well because that shirt did nothing to hide his strong biceps. It looked like they were about to burst out of them.

“I know you’ll be fine, Riko-chan,” Kuroo told her. “But if you need help, I’ll be watching.” He threw her to the wolves…a wolf. He removed himself from her and then Ushijima stood in front of her. People were still dancing on them.

Someone bumped into Riko from behind and pushed her against Ushijima. He easily caught her and used his arms as a shield.

“Uh, sorry,” she apologized. 

“Dance with me,” there was no room for discussion.

She cranked her neck up. “You dance now?” She couldn’t quite picture him dancing like she had been with Kuroo.

“A lot has changed in almost six years.”

She bit her lip but nodded her head. “Wait, what about the woman you were with?”

The corner of his lip lifted up to a smirk. “Are you jealous? If I was with her?”

She shrugged. “It’s your right to date who you want. But I don’t plan to become a mistress.”

His smirk grew and then she yelped when he twirled her around so her back was to his chest. He had turned around by her hips so swiftly she almost lost balance, but he held her steady. Was he always this bold? His body started to move with the music, and he moved her body since she was still in shock.

But then her body caught up and she followed his lead. He didn’t answer her question, but she didn’t care. For years she imagined being in his arms again. She craved it until it ached like an actual wound. They both shouldn’t be doing this. Opening old wounds, but for Riko her wounds never healed. They remained raw and opened.

So, for the moment she planned to enjoy it.

Because if this was a dream, she wanted to revel in it.

‘Let Me Hold You’ by Bow Wow never sounded so erotic to her.

_Let me hold you in my arms in my mind all the time I wanna keep you by my side_

Ushijima could hardly keep control. He didn’t plan to get this far. But when he saw her dancing with someone else something primitive woke inside of him. ‘Mine’ he thought as he saw Kuroo wrap his arms around her tighter. Now he had her in his arms and he wasn’t sure what the next step was. At first, he wanted answers, but he was sure it wouldn’t change a thing.

Because regardless of how much time it has been…holding her in his arms was the best thing to happen to him.

Fate brought them together once again. It had felt good to see her jealous. Maybe he should keep it up. He decided not to think for the moment. She was in his arms once again and he planned to enjoy it for now.

The music changed to one that reached her heartstrings.

‘Dilemma’ by Nelly.

Riko recalls listening to this song on repeat when she missed Ushijima. She had a whole playlist. Her hands went to his that remained at her hips. She was touching him again. The man who filled her dreams all this time. The man she compared to anyone who tried to get close to her. She felt bad for feeling so happy to be near him again.

_You don’t know what you mean to me! No matter I do. All I think about is you. Even when I’m with my boo. You know I’m crazy over you_

She rested her head on his shoulder and she felt him lower his head and when his lips touched her neck, she felt goose bumps form all over her body. Her heart started to race as his lips moved down to her shoulder. She felt her nipples harden. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to relive those days from when they expressed their love.

He must have a life now. Must have moved on. He did come with someone else and here she was grinding against him. What if that woman was watching? What if she was hurting someone else? She stopped dancing with him. Turned back around to face him. Thanks to the heels she was able to wrap her arms around his neck and she pulled him down so she could tell him.

“Ushijima-san…I can’t do this. You have someone else. I have no right to be this close to you after what I did,” as she spoke, she felt him tightened his hold on her like she was an anchor. “This might be the last time we see each other and I’m just happy to know you’re…happy. Moved on.”

She tore herself from his grip. She forced herself to move because he was so damn beautiful that it was hard to keep eye contact with him. She moved through the crowd and planned to leave. But she only made it a few people before her wrist was caught and she was back into his arms. This time chest to chest. Before she could protest, his face was inches from hers.

“I want to make it clear that I am not dating anyone. Are you?” Ushijima’s tone made her pussy ache. She shook her head. With no second to spare, he crashed their lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing this story. I love angst! Thank you for the kudos. Haunted reached over 1500 hits and that's amazing for me!
> 
> thank you for reading <3
> 
> Riko's [Outfit](https://vrfzy3otof.execute-api.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/image/outfits/fd3cec00-375f-458f-9494-683723140039.png)


	3. i belong to you, you, you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit to: I belong to You by Sabrina Claudio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT. FILTHY SMUT. LIKE REALLY FILTHY. well at least I think so.

Riko’s hands wouldn’t stop shaking as she handed over the ticket to her coat. Not even an hour in the club and she was ready to go. She wasn’t mad at anyone. Mainly herself. How could she be so stupid? She shook her head and then crossed her arms across her chest. Her lips were still throbbing from the kiss.

Kiss.

She was sure there were other words to describe what that was. 

A claim.

He claimed her again.

As she waited for the person to return with her coat, she recalled what happened in the dance floor. Ushijima kissed her and like second nature she returned the kiss. Her arms went around his neck. He had his arms around her waist, and he flushed her body against his.

Her soul left her body. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Her hands went into his hair and she moaned into his mouth at the feel of it. She often remembered the feel of his hair. How soft it had been. How she loved to run her fingers through it, especially when he was between her legs. Remembering that image of him between her thighs brought another groan from inside of her.

“Miss?”

Riko blinked and then cleared her throat when she saw the coat person giving her a concerned expression. Her coat was on the counter. She smiled and hoped her awkwardness wouldn’t be noticed. She got her coat, thanked the person and then headed towards the exit.

After the kiss, she stared deep into his eyes and it was like she was struck with lightning. She shouldn’t be kissing him. Not after what she did. How selfish she had been. How much of a coward she was. She didn’t even tell him why she never talked to him.

Seeing him made her feel worse about it. Ushijima had made his mistake as well. But he had owned up to it eventually. Six years later and she still couldn’t do it. Once outside, she felt the cold air of the night and she turned up to the sky. Not even twenty-four hours in Japan and she already messed up. She didn’t plan to run into Ushijima so suddenly. She had a plan to make it easier on both of them.

She had planned to take him to lunch. Give him the explanation he deserved and they both could move on. 

“Riko-chan,” Kuroo called out to her. His eyes told her that he was worried for her.

She smiled at him to tell him she was okay. “Kuroo-kun, thank you for tonight. I had fun. Really, but…I’m tired. I should rest since I have to draw the contract for Yaku. Then go over it with him.”

The tall man nodded his head. “Okay…I’m sorry if it was bad to leave you with him. It’s just…you two looked like you needed to talk.”

“Thank you for worrying about me. He and I do have to talk. And we will…eventually,” she chuckled. “Just not tonight. Too much going on.” She did her best to keep her tears at bay. “Again, thank you,” she moved closer, went on her toes and gave him a peck on the cheek. “You’re the best.”

Kuroo flagged down a taxi for her. He helped her inside and then watched her as she left. Once again in the taxi, she let the tears fall. But she still kept most of it inside of her. The driver was nice enough to pretend not see her cry. He drove her to the hotel she had told him.

Once they reached the hotel, she paid and got out. She wiped away her tears and then headed inside. She rushed to the elevators. She was glad it was late and there were hardly any people. The elevator to her right came first and she went inside of it. She pressed the button for her floor and waited for the doors to close.

What she didn’t expect as the doors began to close, was a hand to stop it. The doors automatically opened again. Ushijima rushed inside of the elevator with her.

Riko’s heart pumped faster at the sight of him. His hair was disheveled, and she was sure it was because she caused it during the kiss. But it wasn’t the sight of him that caused her heart to race. It was the wild look in his eyes. She had never seen him be so expressive. She could see that he was angry. Hurt.

“Stop. Leaving.” He said through gritted teeth his eyes wild with mixed emotions.

Again, his tone made her weak in the knees. The elevator doors closed trapping her.

She could see he wanted to ask the million-dollar question. He wanted to know why she didn’t come back. But seeing him hurt so much made her think that there was nothing she could say to fix it.

She didn’t want to see him hurt. She didn’t want to be the cause of it.

How could she keep doing this to him?

“Ushiji—”

“No, you listen to me,” he walked towards her until her back hit the wall. He leaned down until his face was centimeters from hers. “I want you. I chased you down because I couldn’t help myself. I can’t control myself when it comes to you. It frustrates me.”

“I’m sorry—”

“Show me,” he growled and slammed his hand next to her head. She didn’t flinch because she didn’t fear for her life. “Show me how sorry you are.”

Her mouth opened a little in disbelief that she heard those words from him. The air shifted between them and it got hotter inside of the elevator. Did he mean in the way she was thinking? Her eyes quickly flickered to his lips and then back to his eyes.

“I’ll have you in any way I can. Even if you leave again tomorrow, let’s have tonight. Fuck everything and everyone. Just you and me tonight.”

She wanted to tell him that she wasn’t leaving. In fact, she was going to get her keys for her new place tomorrow. She was back in Japan for a long time. It wouldn’t be fair to him or her to start something with him. They should be adults, talk it out and go their separate ways.

Yet her body spoke for her and she kissed him. She needed this. She needed him. She wanted to feel wanted again. To feel something other than the numbness of the past six years.

This was stupid. She shouldn’t do this, but she couldn’t help herself.

For a moment, she had control of the kiss, but only for a moment. His body relaxed and then like a switch being turned on, he took control. She surrendered rather quickly with no fight. She didn’t want to fight anymore. She wanted to give in. She wanted it all.

Every swipe of his tongue sent her deeper into a state of bliss. This was where she belonged. In his arms. The elevator reached her floor and the doors opened. Again, she was thankful there seemed to be no one awake. Once off the elevator, they separated. She took his hand and she led him to her door. Her room was only a few doors down, so it didn’t take long to get there. 

He pressed himself against her back as she searched for her key card. He bent over to kiss her neck and feathered kisses to her shoulder.

Riko groaned and her eyes rolled behind her eyes and almost dropped her clutch bag. She caught it and then found her key card. She somehow managed to open it. Ushijima pushed the door open, wrapped his arm around her middle and basically lifted her inside of the room. He got them inside, placed the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the doorknob and then closed the door behind them.

He released her only to turn her around to face him. She couldn’t help but smile to see him so savage. She released the beast and she was ready for whatever was about to come.

“Bed…now,” he ordered her.

She walked backwards she didn’t want to miss how he looked. His hair was messier than before. His lips were swollen, but it was the feral look in his eyes that made her quiver. She reached the foot of the bed and she sat down. Ushijima probably didn’t intend to make a show of undressing, but it was the best view in the world.

His shirt came off first. She clenched her thighs and held back a moan. He was a sight to behold. Years of training showed in every curve and crevice of his chiseled chest. A God. He even had that Adonis belt that basically left her mouth hanging.

“My eyes are up here,” he had come so close to her that he reached out to tip her chin up to meet his eyes. “This is what you want?”

Riko nodded her head in response slowly.

“Remove all of your clothing. Leave the heels on.”

There wasn’t a part of Riko that was going to object to his orders. Yet, she couldn’t help but tease him. She caressed her leg from her ankle to her knee. Her hands followed the curve of her body. Her hands went behind her and she reached for her zipper. She lowered it until it reached her lower back. The thin straps of her dress had loosened and were almost coming off her shoulders.

She stood up and she let the dress pool at her feet. She kicked it to the side and when her eyes turned back to Ushijima, she was sure she could come from just the passion in his eyes. Her panties did not stand a chance and it was slightly embarrassing how wet she was.

She had not had sex in over a year. She did try to forget Ushijima with other men. One night stands that she knew would lead nowhere. She didn’t dare ask if he had done the same. Maybe he felt the same and that was why he had not asked. But those men did not compare to him. She understood why she felt so empty after every time. They were not him.

“Everything,” he instructed with a harsher tone. “Hair down, too.”

She listened to him and removed her bra and panties. She undid her hair as well. Her hair was a little past her shoulders now. It wasn’t as long as it had been when she was in high school, but not as short as she had cut it three years ago.

She ran her fingers through her hair. The movement shook her chest as well and she saw that was where his attention was.

Riko watched as he undid his belt, she bit her bottom lip when he removed it from his pants. He tossed it to the floor and went to remove his pants. His socks and shoes followed as well.

This was not what she had thought she would be doing when she came back to Japan. It had to be fate bringing them together because she didn’t even choose that restaurant to eat. 

Ushijima moved towards her and once again she was reminded of their height difference even with heels on. He still had half a foot over her. Did this man ever stop growing? In more ways than one. She was sure his cock was bigger. There was a bigger tent in his boxer briefs than she remembered.

He stood close until he was all she could see and smell. His cologne was different, but just as delicious. It wasn’t overwhelming. It sure wasn’t Ax Body Spray she was used to from the frat boys. Her hands twitched to touch him. She wanted to run her hands all over him.

“Do it,” his deep voice made her pussy pulse like a heartbeat. She was not surprised he read her mind. He always knew what she wanted to do.

Her hands went to his pecs and she caressed him like a feather. Her fingers trickled down to his lower stomach, over his abs. His muscles contracted at her touch. His skin jumped when she teased him. Her hands went to his shoulders and then she used her nails to drag them down his chest. He hissed but grinned.

“Laying your claim?” he raised an eyebrow.

Her thoughts went to wondering how many women have seen him as she had.

“Maybe I should do the same,” he growled and took hold of her jaw with his one hand since it was so large it almost covered her entire face. “But I do remember you wanting to show me how sorry you are. So…get on your knees and show me, honey.” He brought her face towards him, so she went to her toes and he pecked her lips. She groaned when he didn’t kiss her more. He released her from his hold.

How years changed a person. She couldn’t imagine high school Ushijima talking to her like that. It would take a lot for him to show that side of him before and now it was second nature to him. She shook the thought of other people experiencing it. She didn’t know she was a submissive until now. She would do anything he told her to do. She wanted his guidance.

Once on her knees, she tilted her head up for more instructions. She understood the rules now. She was his to control. He told her to remove his boxer briefs. She did as she was told. His half hard cock sprung out. She whimpered at the sight of it. Oh yeah, it was bigger than before. She was sure her small mouth was not going to be able to take it all, but she was going to have fun trying…or be forced to.

She continued to remove the briefs and he stepped out of them. She threw them aside.

“Now show me, Riko, show me you’re sorry and suck it,” he said through his teeth.

She planned to do just that. She gripped the base and she licked it from the bottom to the tip. He cursed and groaned. She did it two more times from different angles all while keeping eye contact. It grew harder and longer and now her hand barely went around it. Her mouth went to the tip and she took about two inches in. She saw his thighs clench and when she tested the waters and tried to take as much as she could, he reached the back of her throat.

He shouted her name and his hand went to the back of her head. His fingers dove into her hair and gripped it. She was no longer in control from then on. Her jaw went lax as she did her best to take him. But merely half of him was enough to make her choke.

Riko quickly recalled that he liked to get a certain spot licked with her tongue. It was just under the tip, so she pulled back and concentrated her tongue on that spot. His reaction made her pussy clench. He threw his head back and the sounds that left his mouth was music to her ears. If she could smirk, she would, but she went back to taking him to the back of her throat.

“Riko,” he groaned her name and she never wanted to hear her name said by anyone else. His hand gripped her hair tighter and she understood that was her cue to release control back to him. He turned his head down again and his pupil had basically taken over his eyes. She did that to him.

She relaxed her jaw and he started to thrust into her mouth. Slowly. He was still careful, but she could tell he was holding back. Her hands went to either side of his hips and she dug her nails into his skin. Her way of saying to be rougher. To do as he wished.

He did just that. Her eyes watered from the lack of air as he went as deep as he could and stayed there for several seconds. Her nose almost touched his patch of hair. He pulled back just when she thought she couldn’t handle it. He pulled all the way out and she coughed and gasped for air at the same time. Her chest burned from it.

Saliva dripped from the corners of her mouth. His large hand went to her face, and his thumb swiped her saliva off of her. He tilted her head up and she loved how proud he looked.

“I missed seeing your face,” he said the words so softly that she barely caught what he said.

It tugged at her heart. Another reminder of how much pain she caused him. He took hold of her shoulders and helped her back on her heels. Then he kissed her like his life depended on it. She reciprocated and hoped it showed.

He broke the kiss to lay her on the bed. Her head hit the pillows. His eyes moved down her body and admired her as if he couldn’t believe she was real. She felt the same. She dreamt of this so many times. His eyes moved up towards her again her heart skipped a beat at the vulnerability in them. She could see every emotion known to man in them.

Her hand cupped the side of his face and her thumb slowly stroked his skin. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. He kept them closed for a while and when he opened it, there was a change. Animalistic instinct took over him.

His mouth attached to hers once more. Her jaw ached from just moments ago of being stretched to the brim, but she ignored the pain and kissed him like her life depended on it. It was years of repressed feelings coming to the surface. No more holding back. No more pretending for her. She was herself with him. She wasn’t the perfect daughter, student, sister or lawyer. She was just Riko.

It was a freedom she had not had for a long time.

Ushijima pulled back but kept a close distance between their lips. “I’m going to taste you…you better not hold anything back. I want to hear how good I make you feel.” He pecked her lips before he slowly descended down her body. He stopped at her chest to give her nipples some attention. First the left and then the right. He took a few minutes there until she was arching her back and her hands were in his hair massaging his scalp.

When he was satisfied, he continued to move lower. He kissed her stomach and then her hip. He bit down there, and she cried out, but didn’t push him off.

He settled at the end of the bed, opened her legs and his eyes zeroed in on her cunt. He stared at it like he was looking at his last meal. His eyes flickered up to her and she moaned when she saw how much he wanted her.

“Tell me you want it. I want to hear you say it, Riko.”

“Wakatoshi…please…taste me. Lick me. Eat me,” she held nothing back as he had asked. Her voice was hoarse, but she didn’t care. She also didn’t notice she called him by his first name, and he didn’t seem to care either.

“Hmm…you can do better,” he brought his mouth close to her sex that she could feel him breathing on her.

She mewled and clenched her hands tightly. “Please….please…Toshi-kun…I want your mouth on me. I’ve dreamt about it all this time. Make me feel go—ahhh!” She barely felt when he had used his hands to spread her lips apart, but she sure felt when his tongue touched her from center to the top. “ _Wakatoshi!_

Ushijima loved to hear the sounds Riko made. They brought him back to life. He wasn’t aware he had been walking in a haze until now. He could hear and see everything clearly. A fog had been lifted and everything seemed brighter.

The most beautiful sight was seeing Riko’s head thrown back in ecstasy. He wanted to return the favor because of how good she made him feel when she had gone down on him. It had taken every ounce of him not to come as soon as her mouth had been on him.

So, he devoured her like a lion eating its prey. Hearing his name fall from her lips like a prayer was a dream come true. He took his mouth off of her only to suck on her thighs. He wanted to mark her everywhere. He had done so to her neck, hip and now her beautiful thick thighs.

She would not forget who did those to her.

He went back to eating her, but he focused on her clit. Her flavor was a familiar one. Mostly sweet, but still tangy and he couldn’t get enough of it. He wanted to hear her come. It only took a minute and she was screaming his name. Her body bent as she came, and her juices gathered at her entrance. He moved lower to taste it. Her body shook with pleasure, but he went back to her clit and he continued to flick it rapidly.

She panted and pleaded for mercy, but in moments she came again. This time with his tongue and fingers; a soundless scream was how she came. He could see her eyes water from the force. There was nothing in this world that could compare to the vision of her coming. He made her come a third time. That one she screamed again and now she was sweating from her chest up.

He kissed his way up her body again. She was shivering from her orgasms by the time he got to her neck again. He settled his body between her legs. He couldn’t wait any longer. He needed to be inside of her. He left her for a few seconds to get to his pants. He took the foil and went back to the bed.

Riko was a sight to behold. Her bottom half was drenched as well as her top. He ripped open the foil and took out the condom. He rolled it on and then went back to move between her legs. She spread them more for him. He held the base of his cock and pointed the tip at her entrance. She was scolding hot and he couldn’t wait to be engulfed by her walls, but he knew he had to be careful. He was aware of his size. 

“Toshi…please,” she whimpered from underneath him. Her brown eyes—the ones that he saw every time he pleasured himself—held the passion he loved to see. He moved inside of her almost a quarter of the way in. He groaned her name when he felt engulf him.

Home, he thought. Being with her was like being home again. He thought he had gotten over her, but one glance at her and he had gone back to his old ways. Something buried deep was coming back to the surface.

A feeling he thought he had gotten rid of, but it seemed it had only been dormant. Waiting.

“Fuck!” he grunted when he bottomed out. He nuzzled his face in the crook of her neck. He was ashamed for her to see just how much this meant for him. She was in his arms again. He could smell her again. He could feel her flesh against his again. He spent several nights aching to the bone missing her. Just missing having her in his life.

“I-I ne-need you, Toshi,” she begged in his ear. “Give it to me.”

Her approval to not hold back made him snap. He sat up to his knees. He gripped her thighs as he watched her underneath him. His eyes went to where they were connected. He started a pace that pleased them both. He slowly picked it up and soon her hands went to the headboard to keep herself on him.

The sound of their flesh hitting filled the room along with the smell of their sex. He licked his lips as if to savor the flavor. He lifted her right leg over his shoulder, he leaned forward until his other hand rested next to her head. She groaned at being stretched and the angle. His hips snapped and he took out his frustration on her.

She accepted the harsh thrusts. She called out his name and begged for it harder. Ushijima growled—literally growled—and released her leg, he pulled out of her and flipped her over to her stomach. She had yelped in surprise that he easily moved her. He lifted her hips until she was on her knees. His hand went to the back of her neck and she kept her head on the pillow with her face turned to the side.

He went back inside of her making her scream because he was way deeper than before. He didn’t waste time and he savagely took her. He wasn’t sure what he missed more. Her sounds or her ass displayed for him. His other hand came down to her ass.

“YES! Harder!” she cried out.

He did just that. He started out with light slaps though. He warmed up the skin and then he started to strike her down harder.

Riko was not aware of her name or where she was. All she knew was the pain and pleasure that Ushijima was giving to her. He was so dominant now and she was not complaining. She had come three times already, but her fourth one was coming.

“No, now you only come when I say so,” he had leaned down to whisper that in her ear. “Be a good girl for me, Riko, tell me are you close?”

She whined but nodded her head. His hand was still on the back of her neck so moving had been small, but she did it.

“Hold back. Not yet,” he sat up again to keep spanking her. “I’m going to punish you…punish you for leaving. For not even calling me!” He brought down his hand a litter rougher that time.

She didn’t feel like she was in danger. She was sure if she said to stop that he would. She could take it. She wanted it. Plus working on not coming was more difficult than registering the pain from the spanking.

“Damn!” he cursed the hand that had been on the back of her neck took hold of her hair and he pulled it back until she sat up on her knees as well. His thrusts were sharper and harder. The hand that had spanked her ass red wrapped around her neck.

Her hands went to his arm to hold on because his movements were so rough and fast that she was sure she would fly off.

But he held her down and grunted into her ear.

“Missed you so much,” he panted. “I still have your art supplies. Your portfolio.” She gasped not from the thrusting but hearing that he didn’t throw away her stuff like she had expected him to. “It’s in my closet. I hoped one day you’d back, but…I lost that hope after five years of radio silence.” He slowed down quite a bit and removed his hand from her throat and hair.

He had been the one basically holding her up, so she went back to the bed. He pulled out again and turned her once more but to her back. Riko was panting just as much as him. She could tell him what happened, but the time didn’t seem right. It was a much deeper conversation.

He moved back inside of her. This time he placed his arms on either side of her leaving him to be extremely close. She could see his dilated pupils.

“I’m sorry,” she wasn’t sure if he heard her, but she meant it. She wished she had been stronger to call him.

He said nothing else and kissed her. There was no sign of that dominant Ushijima and she was reminded of how loving he could be. His tongue sensually made love to her as well.

She broke the kiss when she felt she was close. “May…I?” she whimpered.

“Yes, come for me,” he fused their lips again as she came. She wrapped her legs around him as she fell into a black hole. She felt him start to come as well. He broke the kiss to bite her shoulder. She wasn’t sure if she heard him, but she thought she heard him say, “I love you.”

It tore her heart to hear him say it. She needed to tell him. He deserved the full story. She planned to do just that. She wasn’t sure what happened after that. She was so exhausted from the long flight, the dinner, the club and now the mind blowing sex that her body sent her right to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always it takes me days to write smut. But before I knew it, it took most of the chapter so I had to split the chapter in two. I have half of the next chapter written.
> 
> If you have any ideas of what you'd like to see, let me know!
> 
> Otherwise this is going to be a short story. Which is also fine, but I do love these characters together.
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


	4. black the color of despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: ABC Cafe & Red and Black by Les Miserables

Ushijima’s body was like an alarm. He never had to put one on because he was used to waking up at five in the morning. Today was no exception, but now he had someone in his arms. His body refused to move. The room was filled with the sounds of her breathing and he didn’t want this moment to end.

Riko snored softly and he smiled to himself remembering that about her. She also liked to attach herself around him. Her arm was draped across his chest. Her leg was tucked between his.

Last night, well just a few hours ago, he was able to make her his again. She gave in and showed him that there was still something between them. A part of him was hesitant though. He had not planned to chase after her after she left him on the dance floor. But as always, he couldn’t fight himself.

He stared down at her sleeping face and his smile widened. She was different and yet the same person. He liked the short hair. His free hand went to gather the end of her short hair and he rubbed it. For years he wondered how she was doing. He hoped she was at least happy. 

He restrained himself last night from asking what he wanted to know. It was what he wanted in the first place, but after being apart for so long; longing to have her out won the need for answers. 

He worked hard to remove the ache in his chest whenever he thought about her. For the past three years, he was able to get through the days without thinking about her. He was aware that going after Riko wasn’t the healthy thing to do. But she gave him a second chance too.

He was getting ahead of himself. She could only be back temporarily. She was probably going back. Then he would be left empty again. He wanted to beg her to stay. To keep her at his side.

She stirred in his arms and she opened her eyes.

For ten whole seconds, her eyes sparkled with a familiar expression. He was transported back in time when he had her in his arms just as she was now. Then reality seemed to settle, and he could see the change. She wasn’t embarrassed or looked like she regretted it. She looked sad.

“Good morning,” she mumbled.

“Good morning,” he returned.

He was glad she didn’t move from him. Instead her hand started to do circles on his chest. His eyes remined on her trying to decipher what she was thinking. Her eyes met his and she blushed this time.

“Last night…”, she cleared her throat. “I honestly didn’t expect to run into you so early on.”

“You planned to see me?” his eyebrow rose.

“Yes. I wanted to see how you were doing. If you were happy…if you hated me.”

“I never hated you.”

“You had every right to. After what I did. I hated me.”

“Why did you do it?”

The words hung in the air and she shifted her eyes away. “It’s…complicated.”

Ushijima scoffed and he couldn’t help but tear himself away from her. He sat up, threw his legs over the bed so they touched the floor. His back was to her because he couldn’t bear to see her. There was a fire in his chest that was starting to spread.

“Was it payback for what I did to you?” he looked over his shoulder to see that she had sat up and was using the sheet of the bed to cover herself.

“No! Of course not! I had forgiven you for that already.”

“Then why can’t you tell me why you dropped me like a bag of rocks?!” his thundering voice surprised himself. He turned around to face her and didn’t like to see that she was flustered. “What could possibly be the reason to tell someone you _love_ them only to rip out their heart?!” This feeling was new to him. He was never able to express what she did to him. He was mad. He didn’t hate her, but he was hurt and upset. “We were supposed to be together and you threw it away for what?! I want to know. I deserve to know.”

Riko had tightened her hold on the bed sheet. Tears formed in her eyes. Not for herself, but for him. She had never seen him so hurt. Seen him expression so much emotion. Her words choked in her throat. She had reasons. Maybe to him it wouldn’t matter though. But she did have them.

“You have nothing to say? You’re not the person I fell in love with,” he scoffed. “The Riko I knew wouldn’t have abandoned her friends. You sicken me.”

But before she could gather her thoughts, he was gathering his clothes. Her hand reached out to him to stop him, but in seconds he got his clothes and went to the restroom and he shut the door closed.

“Fuck,” Riko slapped her face with her hands. His words had hurt, but they were the truth. She was sickening. She hurt a lot of people. She had tried to make it up by helping out Shoyo. When she resumed communication with him, he was in Brazil. She went to visit him, and she couldn’t believe how much he had grown. She had missed out on three years of his life. Sure, she had been there for him on his first Nationals. She was there when he got his fever and had to miss out on the rest of the games.

He had cried on her lap when she was with him at the hotel room. They watched as Karasuno lost, but she had hopped on the next plane and went back to the States. She did not contact him again until Brazil. And yet he had forgiven her easily. She kept in contact with him ever since, but only him.

Daichi fell out of her life.

Satori. She wasn’t even sure where he was. He had been a good friend to her and she had also left him.

Riko didn’t feel like the best person. She hated what she did, but her hands were tied. When she went to the States six years ago, she had all of the intention to tell her dad what she had practiced for so long.

She was going to the art school. She was going to move in with Ushijima and she was going to live her life on her terms.

Instead, she became something else. Someone else. How could she ever explain to Ushijima that she didn’t have a choice? She had been backed into a corner. She did what she had to do to survive. He didn’t know about the bitter world of ‘high class’ in America.

The bathroom door opened, and he was dressed back into the clothes he had. A surge of desperation spread through her. She didn’t want this to be the way he remembered her.

“You’re right. I’m horrible for abandoning you, but I feel if I tell you why, it won’t be enough to forgive me,” her words sputtered out. They were the truth though. What if she had to say wasn’t enough for him?

“You didn’t even try,” he walked towards her. “You didn’t even give me the chance to try to understand. You decided what was best. You decided to shut me out. If you needed me to wait, I would have waited. You know that. So, ask yourself why you didn’t try? Maybe you’ll find out the real answer.” He left her alone in the hotel room.

Riko’s shoulders dropped and she nearly dropped her sheet as well. She wasn’t used to being on the wrong side of Ushijima’s wrath. Not that he had one to begin with. Calm and collected Ushijima was showing emotions he probably hardly ever felt.

She only seemed to cause him pain. Maybe it was best if she stayed out of his life. Clearly, she was causing more harm than good. Every part of her was screaming for her to go after him. She clenched the sheet tightly to force herself to stay put.

She allowed herself to cry for a few minutes. This wasn’t how she pictured coming back to Japan. It wasn’t how she pictured meeting Ushijima. She thought she would have the right thing. Her head started to hurt, so she forced herself to stop crying. Her heavy chest made it hard to breathe. She went to take a shower.

Normally she would have some music playing, but she didn’t have the energy. After her shower, she got ready to pick up the keys for her penthouse apartment. In an hour and a half, she was a different woman.

In her head, she could hear her grandmother’s voice.

_A Crawford is strong and we do not bend!_

Her back was straight as she stared at herself in the mirror. Ushijima’s words echoed in her head as well. The words that hurt her the most _You are not the person I fell in love with._ No, she was not the same person from six years ago. She had to harden. She had to become tougher.

She wore a Jersey dress and she matched it with some cute heels.

From head to toe, she wore money. Old Riko would have rolled her eyes at herself. Would have ridiculed her for wearing so much when she was always most comfortable in jeans and a shirt.

Now what she wore could easily feed a family of four in Japan for a month. But she had a part to play. A Crawford would not be seen in anything less. Again, she could hear her grandmother scolding her because as a Crawford she had a reputation to uphold now. All eyes were on her.

There was no time to revisit the past. There was no time to worry about feelings and emotions.

“A Crawford is strong, and we do not bend,” Riko repeated the words to herself. She got her Chanel bag and she checked her phone. She had not charged it, but she had enough to get her by for a while. At least until she finished signing the paperwork for her penthouse.

**

The place was big enough for her. She made sure the living room had the view of the city and that it came with furniture already. One less thing for her to worry about. She was on the second to top floor. She chose this building because the offices of the firm she was going to lead was only two blocks away. A perfect walking distance.

“Is everything to your liking?” the realtor spoke from behind Riko.

She turned and faced him. He was a man in his thirties. Handsome and very funny. She smiled at him and nodded her head.

“It’s perfect. Thank you for finding exactly what I wanted, Haruto-san,” she bowed her head.

He chuckled and waved his hand. “No need for that, Riko-san. You are actually the easiest client I’ve had in a while.”

Riko checked her watch and sighed. “I wish I could enjoy my new place, but I do have to go to my office and start working.”

“I’ll walk you out,” he gestured to the entrance which was an elevator. Haruto had already given her the keys to the place. They were in her bag. She followed him to the elevator, and they chatted as they went down to the lobby of the building.

At the lobby they stood and talked for a little longer about the small details of finalizing the sell of the penthouse. He told her he would email her copies of the paperwork. He told her that if she needed anything else to not hesitate to reach out to him. She thanked him for the wonderful service and then she headed out of the building. She had to get to the office.

Her dad was already there. She rushed out of the building and turned to the right. She walked at a medium pace. She didn’t want to scare people, so she made sure not to look like she was crazy. She was really lucky she got the apartment so close. It was going to be a breeze getting to work. She crossed two streets and that was that.

She got her key card out to get to the elevators. There was a small group of people waiting for the next elevator. Her eyes widened at a familiar face.

“Kuroo-san,” she called out to him.

He lifted his head from his phone and turned to her. He grinned and his eyes admired her outfit for a moment.

“Good afternoon, you’re just getting to work?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Do we work in the same building?” she couldn’t believe her luck when it came to some things.

He nods his reply. “I’m on the tenth floor.”

“I’m on the twelfth,” she grinned. “And I’m just getting to work because I finalized the paperwork for my new place today. It was a lot of signatures.”

“How did last night go?” he smirked devilishly.

Riko was confused for a moment and then it all made sense. “I guess I should have wondered how Ushijima knew where I was staying at.”

“I doubt you’d have the time to ask such a little detail,” he whispered so people wouldn’t overhear. He laughed at the sight of her blushing. “Glad I was able to help you both ‘reconnect’.”

Riko pressed her lips together tightly. She shouldn’t be having this kind of conversation with a male, but she felt comfortable with Kuroo. She also didn’t have any friends. Not any she could talk to anyway. The one friend she made in the US was back over there. It had been hard to say goodbye.

The elevator came and the two of them got together and two other people as well. The people got off on the fifth floor together and then it was the two of them. She had five floors to ask him.

“Kuroo—”

“You can call me Tetsuro.”

She smiled at him warmly. “Tetsuro, uh…have you ever…had to apologize for something but you have no idea where to start and, in the end, you sound like you’re not sorry?” She spoke fast, but she wasn’t how to word her position.

“Sounds complicated,” he rubbed his chin with his fingers. “Did I hurt someone physically or emotionally?”

“Both? Mainly emotionally. And you may have…gone six years without contact and it’s been difficult to tell them exactly why because…” Riko’s chest tightened with all of the bottled-up emotions. “Because…you’re a horrible person.”

“Whatever the reason may be. I’d think that person would want to hear it from me. Straight from me.”

The elevator reached the tenth floor and he turned to her. His eyes softened at the sight of her.

“He loves you. He will understand.”

Riko couldn’t help but blush and then thanked him for his advice. He left and the doors closed again. She was alone for the rest of the way. She used the time to collect herself once more. At work she had to be tough as nails.

She was young and so men still didn’t take her seriously. Her name carried a lot of weight, but she had to prove her worth. Though it seems that was a theme in her life. Prove herself worthy academically. With her own family. But she didn’t plan to wallow in her sadness. No. She thought of Shoyo and once again her little brother gave her courage. She planned to make everyone see she was worthy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, thank you for reading this chapter and the Kudos so far. I appreciate it all.
> 
> Second, if anyone is interested I've started a Daichi X OC story called Good Enough.
> 
> Third, this is Riko's Outfit for the story


	5. taste of your own medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: medicine by bring me the horizon

Ushijima stood under the water for a long time. Practice was over and he knew that he had not concentrated the entire time. He let his personal life get into his professional one. Even his captain noticed. He had a feeling he was going to be cornered on his way out. He just couldn’t shake Riko’s face from his thoughts. He was always able to separate his personal and professional life. In fact, he was happy he could do that, but seeing her again had shook him more than he thought.

Not just seeing her, but feeling her, kissing her and being inside of her. It was as though for those few hours his world had been complete. And he hated that. He had worked so hard to shake her from his thoughts. To keep her buried deep inside of his mind. In a single night all of that hard work was destroyed. 

The hot water cascaded down his body turning his flesh red from the heat. It was painful, but not as painful as leaving in the morning. Seeing her still keep her reasoning for leaving frustrated him. He had one chance to find out, but if he was honest, he pretended to be mad because he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear why.

Because the thought of forgiving her was scary.

He didn’t hate her. No, he could never hold that kind of feeling especially towards someone who meant so much to him. Who changed his way of thinking. Who made him realize there was more to life than pure talent. 

But he also knew he was on thin ice. If it got any thinner, he would find himself in love again. Riko had become the best example to never open up completely to someone. She destroyed him. She had no idea of what he went through when she didn’t come back. Didn’t even bother to send a single letter.

He also couldn’t forgive her for hurting Tendou. The red head remained hopeful that she would return even as graduation had come close, his friend had hoped she would return. A sadness took over Tendou when she didn’t return. He was in Paris, France now. Ushijima had just visited him last year and she had come up, but Ushijima quickly shot down the subject.

The wing spiker shook his head and turned off the water. He grabbed his towel and patted himself dry. He could see the marks of Riko’s nails down his chest. Their passion was still unmatched. He couldn’t remember the last time he had enjoyed himself. How every touch had felt burning hot and yet couldn’t get enough.

He had left the hotel room so quick because he had felt so upset with her. He could see she wanted to let him in, but something was stopping her. He wanted to know. He truly did.

He changed into his regular clothes. Just a pair of black sweats and a tank top and then put on a hoodie.

“Ushijima-san,” a voice came from behind him.

He turned around and faced his captain. Hirugami always seemed to see right through him. Ushijima respected him for being able to see people for who they truly were.

“Yes, sir?” Ushijima grabbed his duffle bag and placed the strap across his chest.

“In the time I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you so distracted. Is everything okay? Anything I can help with?”

The wing spiker forced a small smile. “I’m sorry if I caused any trouble. I do have a lot on my mind, but it has nothing to do with volleyball. I’m sorry.” He bowed respectfully.

“There’s no need for that, Ushijima-san. If you want someone to talk to, I’m always here,” Hirugami placed his hand on Ushijima’s shoulder and smiled softly. The older male was about to leave when Ushijima cleared his throat.

He wasn’t the type to ask for advice in personal manners, but he wasn’t sure what to do.

“Say someone…hurt you. And you want to find out the reasons, but that means opening up old wounds. Is it worth it?” Ushijima felt a load of his chest just saying those words out loud. “I’ve never been the type to hold grudges, but she’s…” he exhaled.

“Different,” Hirugami finished for him and then chuckled lightly. “I think you have to decide if you want this closure. It sure seems like you need it. Maybe talk it out with her. Even if it’s not what will make you feel better, at least you’ll both be able to move on.”

Ushijima nodded and licked his lips. “Being in the same room with her is dangerous.” His heart was in danger. He could feel it.

“It is a risk you have to take. But again, if you want to find out why she hurt you, then simply ask directly and give her a chance to explain herself.”

“Thank you for your advice. It has helped a lot. I will be better tomorrow,” Ushijima bowed his head again.

“Don’t worry about it!” Hirugami patted Ushijima’s back. “It’s good to know I can be counted on outside of the court.”

**

Riko’s knocked on her dad’s office. She heard him tell her to go in. She walked in and saw him behind his desk typing away. She had some papers he needed to sign. She placed it on his desk.

“Just need approval for some purchases for the waiting area,” she explained. “I didn’t like the chairs that we have so I ordered some different ones.”

Her dad chuckled but took the papers and just glanced over them and signed at the bottom.

“How is your new place?” he asked as he slid the papers back across his desk.

She smiled. “It’s good. Oh, I finished Yaku’s contract. I’m treating him to lunch tomorrow to get him to sign it.”

“Your mom called me. She says she’ll looking forward to seeing you.”

Riko pursed her lips. “I’m not sure when I’ll be able to spare time to see—”

“You have to see your mom. It’s been a long time.”

“I saw her two years ago when she visited,” Riko stood up and took the papers with her.

Her dad frowned. “Riko, I know we’ve never talked about what you sacrificed—”

“Dad, it’s fine,” she waved her hand dismissively.

“I can see that it’s not, Riko. You left your life here so abruptly and you never spoke to me about it. All your friends you must have left behind. It must have been hard—”

“Dad why are you asking now?” she huffed. “It’s been six years since I left.” Why does it matter now if I had friends? A dream of my own? Is what she wanted to say, but she knew she couldn’t.

Sadness flashed through her dad’s eyes. She didn’t mean to make him sad. He was in the dark about a lot of things. He was oblivious as to why she suddenly decided to finish school in the States.

“That’s in the past. I’m…fine,” she couldn’t make herself say that she was happy because the last time she was truly happy was a few hours ago in the arms of the man who rocked her world.

Her dad opened his mouth to speak, but his assistant said that there was someone calling for his four o’clock appointment. Before anything more could be said, she excused herself. She hurried back to her office with her heart beating out of her chest.

That was too close.

Riko spent six years in avoiding her issues. She had one more year. Then she would be free. Free to do as she wished. To love who she wanted to.

She was thankful her own assistant told her that she had a call of her own. Work kept her mind busy and that meant not dwelling on a lot of things.

**

The following morning was business as usual. She called Yaku over so they could go over what to expect over the next year. The Olympus was still two years away, but before they knew it, it would be right around the corner. She wanted to get to know him better. She did her research, but she learned from her dad there was nothing better than one on one conversations.

Yaku arrived at her office in another great suit. She greeted him at her door, and she had a little sitting area. Comfortable seats and she had her assistant get them some good tea.

Conversation about work came really easy for her. Riko excelled in her people skills. She had a great teacher. Her grandmother was the kind of person to make someone spill their secret and not make it seem it was what she wanted all along.

A Crawford always gets what they want.

Her voice seemed to take over her head nowadays. Riko knew it was a test to be able to come to Japan. She needed to pass the test. Whatever it was.

“I know I’m taking a big leap hiring you, but I like my odds,” Yaku grinned. “So, are you going to the game this Saturday? Going to support your brother or…your ex?”

Riko licked her lips. “Shoyo has no idea I’m in Japan, but I should let him know. If he wants me there, I’ll be there. How about you?”

“I have to go back to Russia and finish some business over there,” he sighed. “I would have loved to see the ‘monster generation’ play against each other.”

She chuckled. “Yes. It will be.”

Shortly after that, he left. She walked him all the way down to the lobby. On her way back, she pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts and found Shoyo’s number. He answered almost immediately.

“Riko-chan!” he greeted her happily.

“Hi,” she laughed at his enthusiasm. She was thankful she had a great younger brother. Someone who didn’t hold grudges or judged people. “How are you?”

“I’m great! Very excited about the upcoming game! Oh---uh—it’s against…uhhh—”

Riko smiled softly knowing he was being considerate of her. “Against Ushijima, I know. Actually…I’m in Japan…for good.”

Her younger brother reacted as she expected. He was happy she was back. He asked a lot of questions and she answered them. She told him she was staying in Tokyo. He asked when she planned to visit their mom. She told him she hoped soon even though she wasn’t sure about that. Her schedule was still full for the next several weeks since her dad was going to go back to the States once he was sure she could handle running the firm by herself.

As expected Shoyo invited her to the game. She accepted and told him they should get lunch soon. He agreed but told her it would have to be after the game because practice was a top priority. She asked him how he felt about facing off against Kageyama after all this time.

When she visited him in Brazil, he was upset that Kageyama was further along than he was. She talked to him about his own talent. How he was special as well. He was a quick learner and most importantly he never gave up. Many people would have quit because how hard it is.

Riko reached her floor and headed towards her office. She ended the call letting him know she was happy to be in contact with him again. He said he was happy about it as well.

“Ms. Crawford,” her assistant stopped her at her office door. His name was Hachi. He was barely out of high school, but he was motivated. “You have someone waiting to meet you. I told her you didn’t have any openings, but she insisted.”

Riko frowned, but she wasn’t upset with Hachi. She was sure he did what he could, but she was curious as to who it could be.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it,” she smiled and then opened the door. A woman sat across her desk.

Her dark hair was pulled up in a neat bun and her clothing said she had a sense of fashion and class. A client? No, she wasn’t an athlete. Riko cleared her throat to announce her arrival.

“Hello, how can I help you?” Riko saw the woman turn her face and she immediately recognized her. It was the woman Ushijima was with the other night. She never did ask who she was. He said he was single, but was she his ex? A million things raced through her head.

The woman stood up and had a big smile on her face, but Riko couldn’t help but feel it was fake.

“Ms. Crawford,” she bowed her head and when she raised her head there was a twinkle of mischief in her eyes. “I’m Gin, Harumi. I am the manager of one of the top volleyball players in Japan and we’d like to hire you.”

Riko narrowed her eyes unable to get a full read on Gin. She seemed genuine, but just something told Riko to be wary of her. “Would you like some tea?” she gestured to her couch. Gin followed and took a seat. Riko sat on the other end of the couch.

“I’d love some,” Gin replied.

Riko reached for the intercom on her coffee table and held down a button. “Hachi-san, please make two teas and some pastries.” She released the button and Hachi replied he would get right on it. Riko pushed her shoulders back and crossed her ankles and placed her hands on her knees. “Gin-san—”

“Please call me Harumi-chan. We are going to be working so close.”

Riko forced a smile. “Who is it you work for?”

“Ushijima, Wakatoshi, of course. I know you two are high school sweethearts. I mean ‘were’,” she giggled. “I figured you would be perfect to join our team.”

Riko doubted this was Ushijima’s idea. He made it clear the day before that he harbored hatred for what she did to him. So, why was his manager asking her to join his team?

“How did you hear about me? I only have one major player at the moment.”

Gin grinned like the Cheshire cat. “I have my sources. Plus, your family name is famous even in Japan. A wealthy family from the States starts a sports firm in Japan and I wouldn’t know about it? Not likely. One of the reasons I’m good at my job is my attention to detail.”

Hachi walked in with the tray of tea and pastries. Gin took the tea but passed up on the pastries because she was taking care of her figure. It was a clear shot at Riko’s body image, but she ignored it.

“I am surprised Ushijima doesn’t already have a sports lawyer,” Riko commented.

“There was never a need for one, but he is really famous, and the load is becoming too much for me. Taking care of his practice schedule, overseas games and now with him joining the Japan National team for Olympics. He and I agreed it was time to share the work. Not to mention he is moving to Poland for a year before the Olympics.”

Riko’s heart stopped at the mention of that. “Poland?”

Gin nodded her head. “Yes! I was very proud he got the spot. Toshi-kun just loves to play volleyball and he needs more challenges, don’t you think?”

She ignored Gin using his name so casually and personal. Clearly Gin had feelings for Ushijima, and she came here because she knew Riko was the ex-girlfriend. Did he even really need a sports lawyer or was Gin just scouting the ‘competition’?

Well, whatever it was Riko wasn’t going to cause Ushijima any more turmoil. She wouldn’t play into her hands.

“Well, having a player like Ushijima would be big for the company, but I think it would be best if he came as well if we were to go any further with this,” she doubted once again it was something Ushijima wanted; to see her face almost every day. To talk to her constantly about any new deals.

Gin’s smile didn’t fade. “Come join us at his game this Saturday. You can see him in action.”

“I have.” Riko may have just admitted to keeping tabs on her ex-boyfriend to the woman who liked him.

“Well, you must see it in person.”

“I do plan to attend. My younger brother is a player in the team Ushijima is playing against.”

For the first time Gin looked confused. She was probably trying to recall any dark-haired players in the Black Jackals.

“Hinata, Shoyo, the one they call the Ninja.”

Her eyes widened but recovered quickly she cleared her throat and regained composure. “Wow, I wasn’t aware you were related. Your last names are different.”

“We have the same mother just different fathers. Now, as my assistant explained. I don’t usually take last minute appointments and I do have much work to do. If you wish to set a meeting please speak with my assistant on your way out,” Riko stood up with a kind smile without looking back she went back to her desk.

Gin got her purse and headed out.

Riko released a breath she had been holding. She couldn’t imagine working with Ushijima. It would be a great opportunity workwise, but she knew it wouldn’t work. She really didn’t think Gin was serious about it until the meeting popped on her calendar shortly after she left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who else is excited that Haikyu!! is coming back this friday? I'm so stoked. I'm rewatching my favorite episodes.


	6. what's in your head, in your head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: zombie by the cranberries

Riko got to her place and she placed her bag on her couch. She had some of her things shipped from the States and it had arrived when she was almost out of work. It wasn’t a lot of things since she didn’t really have a lot of sentimental things. But there was one thing she had made sure to come with her. She went through all of the boxes and it was in the fourth box at the very bottom.

Her old sketch book. The one she had taken with her when she left.

Drawing and painting had become too painful to do because it was a reminder of something she gave up. It didn’t stop her from doodling, but to actually draw or paint? She couldn’t remember the last time she picked up a paint brush, well, actually she could, and it was when she had applied to Tama Art School.

The nail in the coffin was when her mom told her that she got the letter of acceptance as a way to convince her to come back. Riko recalled talking to her mom when she decided to give up her life in Japan to become a Crawford.

_“Riko, I want nothing, but your happiness and I had never seen you happier than when you were preparing for this school. It’s what you worked for. Is this really what you want?”_

_Eighteen-year-old Riko held back the tears that threatened to fall. “Yes, it’d be foolish of me to give up the education my grandparents are offering me, mom. Art…isn’t a career. Um…can you please tell Shoyo? I can’t…do it. I just can’t.”_

_“You’re not coming to support him during Nationals? You promised him, Riko. I’ve at least raised you to be a woman of your word.”_

_“You’ve only raised me for half my life, mom, you gave me up to dad, remember?” She wasn’t sure why she was bringing up something like that, but it was the truth. Riko did resent her mom for not fighting for her first born just because it was out of wedlock._

_There was silence on the other end of the line. Riko knew those words would hurt her mom, and she hated herself for doing that._

_“If this is what you want, I will support you.”_

It wasn’t just her ex who she hurt.

Her mom, Shoyo and Natsu were all left behind as well. Riko took out a bottle of wine from her fridge. She made sure it was the twistable ones because she didn’t want to bother with a corkscrew. She went to the couch with her sketchbook and then she went through her purse to get her phone.

She called her mom. The house phone was still the same and Natsu answered on the second ring.

“Hinata residence,” she answered.

Riko smiled to herself. She was sixteen now.

“Natsu, it’s Riko. How are you?”

“Oh…uh…Riko…umm…eh….”

Riko pursed her lips. Another relationship she screwed up. Once Natsu loved Riko and now there was only awkward silence when they talked. Not much in common anymore. 

“Is mom home?” she changed the subject quickly to avoid any more interaction.

“Yes. MOM!” the young girl called out loudly. “Riko is on the phone!”

There was some shuffling and then her mom said her name. “Riko, what a lovely surprise.”

“Hi…eh…I’ve moved back to Japan. I wanted to let you know.”

“Shoyo told us.”

“Oh,” Riko cleared her throat. “I’m going to see him play the day after tomorrow. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him play an official game.”

“When did you move to Japan?”

“Just recently,” Riko played with the wine bottle. “My dad is with me. He and I are starting a firm together. Eventually I’ll be in charge, but he’s helping me start it off.”

“That sounds amazing. Are you…well?”

Riko hadn’t heard anyone ask her that in a long time. Her mom was the only one who ever asked that.

“I’m okay, mom. I…the game is in Sendai, so I’ll be close by. May I stop by Sunday and see you and Natsu?”

“Of course, Riko, this is your home.”

Home.

A foreign word for Riko.

“Thanks, mom. Uh…I should let you go. I do have a workload to get through. See you Sunday.”

“Sleep well, Riko.”

Most of the time it was hard to remember why she made the decision to stay with her dad. Then she remembered she did it for her family. Her real family. They would never know about it, but Riko would never regret making them a priority. Even if it meant sacrificing her own happiness.

Riko stared at the unopened sketchbook. It once was the way for her to escape her harsh reality. But she can’t imagine opening that can of worms. Another love she left behind was her love for art. She never took it in college. Instead she took a film class that worked as an art class. No, she couldn’t open her sketchbook, so she placed it on her stand next to her couch.

A bottle of wine later and answering several emails as well, she decided to go to bed. In the middle of her shower, her thoughts went to the other night. The night she and Ushijima gave into their carnal needs. She still had some fading marks of his fingernails in her hips.

She wondered what kind of life she would have if she had made another choice. If she would have stayed in Japan when she came back for Nationals.

She wanted to think she and Ushijima would be engaged. Maybe even married by now. Would they begin to talk about having kids? Riko let herself wonder something as wonderful as having his child. He would make a great father.

She would probably be a better artist. She would have graduated from Tama Art and probably gone into selling her artwork.

She used to do this to help herself fall asleep most of the nights in the beginning of college. 

She took her laptop with her to her bed where she answered more emails and then a familiar name popped off.

Tsukishima, Kei.

He was in a volleyball team that was making its way up the ranks. They looked like a promising team. Hachi had sent her up and coming teams in volleyball she should keep track of. She also researched the Adler’s a little more.

They were the reigning champions for the last three years. The Black Jackals were hot on their trail and they were subbing out one of their opposite hitters for Shoyo. The coach for the Black Jackals Foster, Samson seemed to have faith in the lineup, which meant he had faith in Shoyo.

She saw Kageyama’s name and then it suddenly hit her that at the game there was probably going to be all of Shoyo’s teammates. That included Daichi.

She wasn’t sure what he was up to now. Last she heard from Shoyo, when she was in Brazil, was that Daichi was thinking of becoming a police officer after college. Maybe that was what he was up to. She wondered if she would find him on social media.

Riko had a private Instagram account. She rarely posted anything. But she had it for work as well. She did digging on players through there as well. She was surprised to find Daichi. It wasn’t that hard. She sent a friend request. Her heart raced and she figured because it was so late that she couldn’t get a response, but just when she was about to exit the app, she got a notification he accepted, and he was sending a request back.

She sighed in relief that he accepted, so she accepted his as well.

Riko’s eyes widened when she saw that she got a DM from Daichi. She gulped, but when to the DM’s and she saw the preview of his message.

A simple: _Hi, Riko, long time, huh?_

She could cry at how at ease she felt knowing he didn’t hate her. Her fingers shook, but she replied back to him.

_Yes, but it’s good to know you accepted my request :)_

_of course! Are you back in Japan?I am! Just go back a few days ago. I’m living in Tokyo. I’m going to Sendai this Saturday for the game_

_We have to hang out! It’s been a long time._

Riko grinned and released her breath she had been holding. _I’d love to! I should let you go to sleep. Sorry if I kept you up._

_nonsense. It was really nice to hear from you. What are you up to these days?_

She bit her bottom lip and for a split second she thought about lying, but then she felt bad. He would never lie to her. He has never lied to her.

_I’m a sports lawyer. My dad and I started a firm here in Japan that I’ll be in charge of in about a year_

Her mind went back to her first date with Daichi. How he listened to her problem about becoming something she wasn’t passionate about. How he convinced her that she should follow her own dreams, and yet here is where she ended up.

 _that’s amazing!_ Was his immediate response. 

She laughed to herself. Of course, he was supportive. Again, she released a shaky breath. She had forgotten how it felt to be surrounded by kind and helpful people. People like Daichi were rare and she understood that more now than ever.

_I’m glad you reached out, Riko. You were missed._

_Thank you for saying that. I know after Nationals I left rather quickly._

_You had your reasons, I’m sure. Is it okay if I ask what it was? It was just weird for you to suddenly leave everything behind._

_It’s a long story. Too long to type. When we meet up maybe I’ll explain. It’s…hard for me to talk about._

_Got it. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable_

Riko chuckled to herself. _The ever so chivalrous Daichi-kun. Have a good night. See you Saturday._

Her chest felt a little lighter. Reconnecting with Daichi made her feel better. She always felt horrible for never keeping her promise of coming back for his birthday. But six years ago, she had to make the choice to either come back for New Year’s or be able to go to see Shoyo at Nationals. She didn’t have a lot of time to explain to her friends since things in her own life were moving so fast.

She didn’t regret being there for Shoyo because she was there for him when he needed her most. Her eyes burned at the memory of seeing her little brother so helpless and being unable to help him. All she could do was be there for him.

Riko checked the time and saw that it was past one in the morning. She really needed to go to bed. She put her alarms on and then placed her phone to charge. She put her laptop away and even though her mind was racing, she fell asleep rather quickly.

In the morning, she woke up after her first alarm. She hardly recalled her dream as her brain immediately thought about what she had to do today. She had a lot of work to do if she wanted to see the game on Saturday and stay at her old home on Sunday.

Today she chose a little black dress to wear. She matched it with some cute black heels. She straightened her hair and kept her makeup light. But she wore a red lipstick since she felt a little bold. 

Just messaging Daichi and knowing she was on good terms with him made her feel like a weight off her chest. She could breathe a little easier.

Before heading into her office, she stopped by a café and planned to her and Hachi’s their favorite drink. 

“Good morning,” the cashier greeted Riko.

Riko scanned the menu for a moment and then chose a large espresso for her and a medium Earl Gray tea for Hachi.

It was perfect for the November cold weather.

The cashier was a young woman probably just out of high school. She made it obvious she was admiring Riko but kept composure. Riko searched for cash to put on the tray, but then her whole body shivered when she felt a looming presence behind her.

An arm extended beside her with a card and it was placed on the tray. The cologne was familiar and something that took her back to a few nights ago. Riko looked over her right shoulder and her head went up to see Ushijima with his usual neutral expression.

If the cashier’s eyes went any wider, they would pop out of her skull. Her cheeks turned red clearly finding the situation awkward.

The cashier used Ushijima’s card to finish the transaction. She placed the receipt and card back on the tray and pushed it back towards them. Riko cleared her throat and placed her cash back into her wallet and she put that back into her purse.

They moved out of the way and to the pickup area for the drinks.

“Thank you for the drinks. I’ll tell my assistant know he got his tea from the Super Ace,” Riko kept her tone light.

“I’m sorry if my leaving the other day so abruptly left you…with questions of your own,” Ushijima never beat around the bush.

It really was one of the things she liked about him. “I understood why you left. You want answers for something I did and I’m just…”

“Not ready to give them. I understand that now. I have no right to push the subject.”

Riko blinked in surprise, but she smiled softly. “Thank you. One day I’ll tell you. I just have a lot on my plate right now.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Heard? From who? Your manager?”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

She laughed at the situation. “I don’t think we ever really talked about what I do. Not exactly. I’m a sports lawyer and my dad and I are opening a firm here in Tokyo.”

“Kuroo did mention something like that at the restaurant,” he recalled. “A lawyer? I do recall talking with Gin about getting a lawyer to help her with the sponsorships. She’s better at other things.”

“She did help you go to Poland,” Riko couldn’t help but point out.

“Hmm, yes. For a year starting in the new year.”

Riko’s body stiffened and her chest felt so tight she thought she was going to stop breathing. She really was about to lose him just when she got back. Karma could really be a bitch. But a bigger part of her was really proud of him. He showed the world just what a great player he is. That a left-handed player could be so dangerous and dominating.

“That’s great, Ushijima-san. I’m glad the world knows how good you really are. You deserve everything good happening to you.”

“What about you?” he tilted his head. “Are you…happy?”

Her mind went to her dad. Her grandmother.

The years of isolation she had to go through. And while one might think a full ride to an Ivy League was amazing, it was lonely for Riko. She did her best to put on a brave face, but she had been lonesome. She made ‘friends’ but those friends haven’t bothered to check on her since she moved to Japan.

Her drinks were called out before she could answer. She wasn’t sure if she would have lied or not. She picked up the drinks and thanked the barista. She turned to Ushijima.

“Thank you for the drinks…again. And if you’re okay with working with me as your lawyer, I wouldn’t mind it. And if you don’t want to, I’d understand. I bet working with your ex would be awkward.”

“Not as awkward as you’d think. I know you. Regardless of how much time has passed. I can see you’re still the same Riko who always puts other people before herself.”

His compliments made her blush.

“Are you coming Saturday to see the game?” he inquired.

She nodded her head. “Yes. I called Shoyo and he wants me there, so I told him I’d be there. I also talked to Daichi last night, so I’ll be seeing him too and probably the rest of the team. Is anyone from Shiratorizawa going to be there?”

“Sawamura? You’re still in touch with him?” Completely ignoring her question. Did she hear a hint of jealousy? Maybe she imagined it. But his eyes were narrowed and his lips were pressed together.

“Just recently. Like last night recently. I was curious to see what he was up to and searched for him on Instagram. We talked for a little bit through the messenger. He’s a police officer, which does not surprise me.”

“I have an Instagram.”

Riko pursed her lips to keep herself from smiling because she did hear jealousy. “Do you want to me to follow you?”

“My manager uses it to promote and other stuff I’ve never really been interested in.”

“You can have a private personal one. I have one for work, well it was mainly for work, but now I’ll have to make another one for just work.”

“I’ll make one then.”

Riko lifted an eyebrow. “Do you want me to do it for you?”

“Yes, please,” he sighed in relief. “I don’t really mess with technology too much.”

“Let’s take a seat then.” She gestured to the empty table by the window. He sat across from her on the small table with two chairs. She placed the drinks down and then extended her hand out with her palm up. Ushijima took a second to figure out what she wanted. He reached into his coat. His very expensive coat and placed his phone on her hand.

She turned it one and swiped the screen open.

“No password?” she asked.

He shrugged. “ I don’t need one.”

“No girlfriend to keep secrets from?” she didn’t meet his eyes as she went to the Instagram app on his phone. He wasn’t even logged on.

“Haven’t had one since you. Dates here and there, but nothing serious. What about you? Did you leave someone else behind?”

Riko met his eyes this time and handed back his phone across the table. “Didn’t have time for boys while trying to become a lawyer in six years instead of the usual seven it takes in the states. You’re not even logged in. Log in and I’ll make a different account.”

She could feel the tension between them now. He typed on his phone and then handed it back to her across the table as well.

“How about when you were in Brazil?”

She picked up his phone and tilted her heat to the side. “How did you know?”

“Your brother sent a photo of him and Oikawa-san to Kageyama-san and…you were in the background.”

Riko recalled that day. She knew Shoyo had sent a picture, but she didn’t know she was in it. Brazil had been the most amazing two weeks she had off. She remembered Oikawa and if he wasn’t playing for the Argentina team, she was sure she would be his lawyer. 

“I hope it was a good one at least. Bokuto was making me laugh so hard I had stomach pains,” she went back on the app and in a minute, she had another account for just Ushijima. The username came quickly to her.

leftyushiwaka

She sent herself the friend request. She planned to approve as soon as she could. She handed his phone back over. “Did you try to…reach out to me?” She wondered about that.

Ushijima used his phone for several seconds before he put it away. “Yes, of course. I went to your house to look for you. Your brother was the one to tell me you decided to stay in the States. He was very upset.”

She took a sip of her drink. “I tried to call you. Every time I tried…I couldn’t do it. I wrote letters that I could never send. I have a small confession to make,” she played with the sleeve of her coffee with her nails. “I did come back to Japan…briefly. For Shoyo’s first Nationals. It was a…compromise for something.”

She didn’t meet his gaze, but she could feel him drilling holes into her.

“I’d wish I was good enough for you to confide in.”

His words were not what she was expecting. She expected anger. She finally looked at him and it felt like getting stabbed. He looked sad. Worst of all she made him sad.

“All I wanted was you,” Ushijima leaned forward with his arms on the table. His face came extremely close to her. “You don’t trust me. Believe in me. I think that is what hurts the most. I thought I was someone you felt close with. Someone you told your dreams and hopes to as I shared mine with you. Yet, you could never truly do that with me. Sawamura was the one who convinced you to talk to your dad.”

She was left speechless. She did not think he was going to go that deep. “It’s not you—”

“It’s me?” he finished tone laced with venom. “I may not have been in a lot of relationships. But I know that’s not a good excuse. I always wanted closure and I think this is as good as I’m going to get.” He stood up and he started to walk past her, but her body reacted before her brain did.

She caught his hand. “My dad had cancer.” He didn’t move, but he didn’t sit back down, she took that as a sign she could continue. Her eyes went upwards so he could see she wasn’t lying. “When I went back…he was really, really sick. He made it through by a miracle. But…I had to stay. To…I had to stay,” she couldn’t really tell him yet, but he could have a piece of it. It was a big piece and yet there was so much more to explore. “I was young, and I thought you were better off without my burdens. 

You had a bright future ahead of you and I didn’t want to be in the way. I thought without me you’d be okay. You are resilient and so strong. I know it was wrong of me to make that decision for you. I wanted to reach out, but I always put it off and suddenly six years had passed. It doesn’t mean I completely wrote you off. I would look you up on the internet. See your games. Your commercials.”

“I’m sorry about your dad. I think it goes without saying that I would have understood. Maybe we’re not right for each other. We just keep hurting ourselves,” he tugged his wrist so it would be released. “I do think it’s best we don’t work together.”


	7. would you lie with me and just forget the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: chasing cars by snow patrol

_“What is it going to be, Elaine?” Riko’s grandmother used her middle name. Her racist grandmother refused to use her Japanese name. “Are you going to desert your family when it needs you the most?”_

_“On one condition,” Riko faced her grandmother, “let me go to my brother’s national game. I want to be there for him. Then…I’ll come back for good.” The conversation with her mom was fresh in her mind. She couldn’t imagine how hurt Shoyo and Natsu were. How confused they were._

_Riko’s grandmother smiled and it reminded her of an anime villain who knows they’ve won. “Of course, dear. You are free to return home when you’d like. As long as you keep your end of the bargain.”_

_She picked up the pen and Riko signed her name at the bottom. She just signed her freedom away, but at least her family would be okay._

That scene plays over and over again in Riko’s head. Only because she wished she would have done things differently. She didn’t regret staying with her dad through his chemotherapy. During his treatment he had moved to the east coast to stay close to the hospital where he would have to go weekly to. It helped Harvard was close by and she helped him go to his sessions. Sarah and the kids stayed behind in Los Angeles because they thought it was best if the kids didn’t see their dad like that. But they did visit every other weekend.

Her grandfather took reins back of the firm while her dad took a leave of absence. His sickness had to be kept a secret because it would be bad for business. She didn’t understand it but didn’t care. Her dad told her he would be fine, and she should go back to Japan. But she kept the act up that she wanted to be a lawyer and that it was a great opportunity to go to such a great school.

He didn’t argue with her. He didn’t know that her grandparents didn’t think their son wasn’t going to make it and so they had to assure that the Crawford firm remained with a Crawford for the time being. Because of some family tradition that the wealth should always go to the firstborn. It wasn’t just sports that her family had their toes in. It was also a lot of businesses and oil companies they were in charge of.

“Sweetie?” the knocks on her office door shook her.

Her eyes went to her dad. She recalled when she first arrived and how much weight he had lost. Now he looked like his normal self. His hair had grown back. No one would think he had gone through what he did.

“Yes, dad?” she asked.

“I saw in your calendar that you’re going home for the weekend. Off to see your mom?” his eyes twinkled with life she thought she wouldn’t see again.

It had been two years since he was in remission and so far, things were going well. But the doctors warned that bone cancer could return at any moment and he should get checked annually. She was thankful things were going well for them. It was very dark in the beginning. She wasn’t sure how she made it through the first year of college.

“Yes, and Shoyo is playing on Saturday. I’ll be seeing some old high school friends.”

Her dad took a seat on the chair across her desk. She didn’t take lightly that it truly was a miracle that her father was with her. Things got dark for a long time and she saw her dad in a way that she wished she didn’t. “That’s good to hear. I’ve booked a flight to go back to the States to visit for bit. It’s in a week though. You’ll be in charge for a few days. Think you can handle it?”

Riko chuckled and nodded her head. “I think I can do it. It’s just a few days?”

“Yes, your grandfather wants to finalize turning over the company to me. When he retires again next year, it’ll be in my hands again.”

She softened her expression. “That’s good, dad. Have you been feeling well?”

“Thank you for asking,” he chuckles softly. “Yes, I’m still 100% cancer free.” He got up and walked around the desk to her side. She swiveled the chair to face her dad who sat at the end of her desk. “I just want to say…thank you, Riko. You were my shoulder to lean on. You took care of me and your brother and sister when you could. Any time off you had, you came home and helped out Sarah. She won’t say it but she’s thankful she had you around. I guess…I’m trying to say how proud of you I am. I am sad we were brought back together by tragedy, but it worked out in the end, right?”

Seeing her father be genuinely happy that they spent time together made her remember why she chose to stay. She lost a lot of people, but she was able to keep her dad. She would have hated to miss any time without him.

She nodded her head in agreement. “Of course.”

“I know we never got to really talk about…why I let you come back to Japan when you were twelve.”

“Dad—”

“No,” he said sternly, “I get that you went through a cultural shock going back because I was too much of a coward to tell my wife I wanted my daughter. I felt you slipping through my fingers every time you returned because I knew my wife and my mother didn’t make you feel welcomed. Let alone your grandfather who refused to acknowledge your existence until I was the brink of death. You are so strong, Riko. It reminds me of your mother,” he smiles. “One of the things that drew me to your mother was her strong personality. And I’m glad you inherited that from her. And not my cowardice.”

Riko wasn’t used to having such personal conversations. Especially with her dad. Neither of her families were the type to talk their feelings out like this. But she understood her dad had a different view of life now. He didn’t see it as a long one, but a short one and he didn’t hold back as he used to.

“What I’m trying to say is that you give me strength to go on. You and your brother and sister mean everything to me, and I wouldn’t have made it through without you,” he got up and leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “You’re back home and you should follow your own path, Riko. Whatever that means to you.”

“If…if that meant…not…” Riko closed her eyes and searched for the right words. “If it meant that I wouldn’t be a Crawford, would you be okay with it?”

Her dad pulled back enough so that he could see her eyes. “All that matters is your happiness, Riko. What makes you happy?”

The sad thing was that she didn’t know anymore. She had thought she knew, but it had been years since she was genuinely happy. She didn’t mind being a lawyer. She was really good at it. She was good at being one, but she wasn’t sure if it made her happy.

“Maybe it’s time to reevaluate, right?” he patted her head and walked out of her office.

Riko turned her chair again, but this time to view Tokyo. Could she do it? The deal wasn’t until she turned 25 and that was still months away. Would her grandmother and grandfather allow it? Maybe they wouldn’t care now that her dad was well. She knew they would prefer if her little brother Robby was the heir. Not a half breed as her grandmother liked to whisper underneath her breath.

Ushijima was right not to get back together with her. On the outside she had the perfect life, but like an iceberg her problems went much deeper and darker.

**

Friday night Ushijima arrived at his childhood home.

His mother greeted him at the door. His grandmother hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. His suitcases were put away by the help. Dinner was ready, so he went to the restroom and washed his hands. He pulled out his handkerchief from his pocket and dried his hand. He folded it with the damp inside and placed it back in his pocket.

He joined his mother and grandmother at the table. It was full of food. He sat down across from his mother. Her grandmother at the head of the table.

“It’s so good to have you home,” his grandmother told him. “How long are you staying for?”

“Just a few days. For the game. Rest on Sunday and then I have to go back to Tokyo for…a lunch meeting.”

“Have you finally found a woman?” his mother raised an eyebrow.

Ushijima’s first thought is Riko. But he made it clear the day before he needed to let her go. He shook his head.

“Ay, you are not getting any younger,” his mother shook her head. “And I want grandchildren.”

“Enjoy your youth!” his grandmother pointed her finger at him. “Men can have children at any age. Just enjoy your life and don’t have any regrets. Now let’s eat.”

After eating, he went back to his room. The one that remained plain and empty for the most part. He spent most of his life at Shiratorizawa and he only came home every other weekend. Or special events. He sat down on his full-size bed and looked up at the ceiling.

Riko had become a part of his past. He had been content with that. He thought she would remain as a painful lesson. Yet, he just knew that if he ever saw her again, he wouldn’t be able to let her go. Now that he saw her he was right. Hearing why she stayed told him a lot.

Her dad having cancer must have been scary. But it gave him more questions than answers. Why didn’t she say anything? He would have helped her. He wouldn’t have let her go through it alone. He took out his phone and googled her family’s name.

He quickly found out that her family were more than lawyers. They were ‘old money’ in the United States. A sort of royalty for being of the oldest families to have arrived. They made their success in being in different types of things. Lawyers for one and then businessmen and women. Successful ones.

While searching, he found some pictures of her. Attending charity events in place of her dad. Her grandmother and grandfather were at her side. It was easy to see how they were related.

He groaned and placed his phone down.

If he was going to forget her, he shouldn’t be googling her.

He needed to run. He quickly changed. He made sure to wear gloves and a hat. It was a cold night and he didn’t want to get sick before the big game. He was going to finally defeat Shoyo. He needed to concentrate on that. He couldn’t afford any distractions.

He made sure he had his phone and keys with him. He started his run and the harsh cold helped not think about anything. He concentrated on breathing. His chest burned with each breath he took. It was a bit painful, but he thrived on it. Anything to stop thinking about her. Anything to get his life back on track.

Ushijima did want a family. He saw himself as a father soon. Maybe not right now, but soon. He saw the way his teammate Romero interacted with his son and wife and Ushijima could admit he got a bit jealous. But he thought he would have time. Time to find someone he could see himself having that with.

Before he knew it, he had been running for an hour and he found himself by his old school. Shiratorizawa. He was by the bus stop where he would wait for Riko.

He often wondered what life would have been like if she had returned or at least remained in contact. He would like to think that they were living together. Engaged. Maybe even married by now. He’d get to see her face more often. He’d get to spend more time with her. He missed her. He missed the way she just knew what he meant to do or say. He didn’t have to force himself to be more outgoing or verbal.

She liked him for who he was. The way she accepted him for who he was and had no qualms about his passion for volleyball. He often saw his teammates have trouble with their girlfriends because of their grueling schedule or how often they travelled. It was one of the reasons he remained single. He didn’t want to trouble someone with long distance because it would often be like that.

Riko would understand, he found himself thinking. Then he shook his head and continued his run. He was at the front gate of the school. A small figure was at the entrance. Her hand wrapped around the iron gate and he stopped dead in his tracks when he quickly recognized her. Her head turned his way like she had sensed his presence.

Her eyes were glistening, but when her mind recognized him, she turned away and wiped at her eyes.

“Ushijima-san,” she returned to face him. Her cheeks red from the cold. She had a scarf around her neck and gloves on. He was happy she was staying warm. “Couldn’t sleep?”

He walked over to her until he was a few feet away from her. “Yes.”

“Do you live around here?”

He shook his head. “I’m staying at my mother’s.”

Her eyes widened. “That’s far from here.” She laughed. “I guess I shouldn’t be shocked. You’ve always loved running to clear your mind. Are you worried about the game?”

And other things, he thought to himself. “No. I’m confident we are going to win. I believe in my teammates. I trust in their abilities and the hunger to win.”

“You’ve come such a long way. Back then you would say you’re just the best that was that.”

“You and your brother have sure humbled me,” he gestured to the school. “Are you staying nearby?”

“No. I’m also staying with my mom. I just rented a car and decided to drive.” She gestured to the car parked on the street.

“From Tokyo? All by yourself?”

“I do know how to drive, Ushijima,” she laughed, but bit her bottom lip. “I guess I needed the time alone to clear my own thoughts. I just listened to music. Sang my heart out. And I realized I was nearby, and I just wanted to see it. Just to kind of remind myself that…it was real. Sometimes it feels like a dream. Those few months we had together before…stuff happened.”

Ushijima examined her face and he could see she was telling the truth. “We were kids. We thought we knew what we wanted.”

“I knew what I wanted,” her eyes watered for a moment. “But life sure likes to throw curve balls and test you. I guess I failed in some areas.”

He sighed. “I—Riko…about your dad. I’m sorry to hear your family went through such hard times. Is he…okay now?”

Riko stuffed her hands into her coat. “Yes. He’s in remission. He has been for two years now, so things are looking okay. Thank you for caring.”

“It must have been hard to deal with that and going to school.”

“It was, but it just made me stronger in the end,” she smiled, but it didn’t reach her ears. Not the way he knew she truly smiled when she meant it. It sounded something she told herself to make it okay.

“I know I said we shouldn’t get back together…but…” he scratched the back of his head. “I am still your friend. If you ever want to talk about it…I am here for you.”

“That means a lot to me, Ushijima,” her voice cracked. “Thank you. I can’t wait to see you play after all this time. I mean in person. I saw your games through YouTube and stuff, but it’s always better in person.”

Ushijima couldn’t lie that he was happy she kept tabs on him. He wanted to tell her about something, but then she checked her watch.

“I should go. I don’t want to get home too late.” She walked towards her car and he followed to make sure she didn’t trip over the icy floor. She reached the driver’s side and placed her hand over the handle with her back turned to him. Then she turned around and with the smile he knew was real told him “Do you want a ride back to your house? I’d hate for you to catch a cold before a game.”

He couldn’t deny that she was right. He had run a long way and it would be another hour of running and then he wouldn’t get a good night’s sleep. He accepted her offer and got into the passenger side. For a normal person they wouldn’t struggle since it was a mid-size car, but Ushijima wasn’t normal. He was tall and large, so he had to push the seat all the way back so his legs could fit.

Riko chuckled as he struggled to adjust the seat and then placed his seatbelt on. She turned on the car and immediately turned on the heat. He removed his gloves.

“Thank you for the ride.”

Her music started playing and he immediately recognized the voice. But it was a song he wasn’t familiar with.

“Is this Linkin Park?” he asked.

She nodded her head. “Yes. It was the latest album…before…”

“Oh, yes. I did hear about that.”

“You did?”

He wasn’t shocked she was shocked. “Tendou called me to tell me. He said he wondered how you would have taken the news.”

Riko remained silent for several moments before she answered. “It…made me sad. So sad. Mainly for his wife and children who were left behind wondering.”

“Wondering?”

“What they could have done differently. What they could have said. But Chester was depressed, and he had just lost his best friend. I’m sure it was a lot for him.”

“Are you depressed?” Ushijima could tell the way she talked about it was because she had personal experience with it.

“Yeah, I think so, but…I’d hate to take pills for it so I just busy myself with work.”

“I’ve heard exercising helps.”

“It does. I try to do it three times a week.”

“Knowing you, you probably put it off.”

Riko laughed into the small car and it made him smile a little bit.

“You know me too well, Ushijima-san. I’ve thought about getting a trainer to motivate me. But we will see.”

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”

“You’re too nice. I’m the girl who broke your heart. Why are you being so nice?”

“Because I broke your heart too and you gave me a second chance as well.”

Neither knew what to follow up with that. He was the one saying that they shouldn’t be together, but yet he was the one offering to listen to her problems. To be there for her. He just couldn’t help himself when he was this close to her. He just couldn’t find a way to break the string. The string that kept them together in some way or form.

“I cried really hard for Chester’s family. My dad used to…” she cleared her throat. “Chemotherapy was really hard because it was a really strong one and he lost his hair and he would be in a lot of pain. He would talk about taking his own life sometimes.” Her hands gripped the wheel. “I just…Chester wasn’t someone I thought would actually go through with it. I was actually going to see them live with my dad to celebrate he was a year in remission. Only recently have I been able to listen to the band without breaking down.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself and give yourself a break,” he told her. “You’ve always put others before yourself. Be a little selfish, Riko.” Her shoulders dropped a little and her grip on the wheel lessened.

Instead of saying anything. She began to sing the music softly.

“You’re still a horrible singer,” he commented on her third song.

She scoffed. “I am well aware of that. But it sure doesn’t stop me from singing. All right, Mr. Perfect. Sing whatever song comes next.”

Gumi came on next with Poker Face. He sang along like he always did. It was a song he often heard when he worked out. Or he found himself humming when he was in a good mood. At the end of his singing he turned to face her.

“It’s so not fair. Good looking and can sing? I’ve always envied that about you. You really could be a singer if you wanted to. If you weren’t so absorbed by volleyball.”

He chuckled. “Would you like to represent me?”

“Don’t joke, Ushijima. You’d have even more fans than you have now. You’d be a worldwide sensation.”

“Would you be my fan?”

“The number one. I’d be the one running your fan clubs and also be your agent.”

He continued to laugh. He saw his house when she turned on a corner. “How did you remember how to get here?”

“Somethings you just don’t forget. Plus, I’ve always been good at remembering. Does your grandmother know…about us?”

“No. Not the whole story. She just knew that the girl I wanted her to meet suddenly had to leave for family reasons.”

“Geez,” she laughed, “I guess I deserve that and more.” She stopped in front of the house. “Here you go. Safe and sound.”

“Thank you. Are…you going to cheer for only your brother?”

Riko’s face reddened. “Um…I’ve always been an Adler’s fan. Well…since you’ve joined. I am cheering for you as well.”

Ushijima couldn’t stop the smile from forming. “I’d like to see that for once.”

“OI! Last time you thought I was a spy so I kinda wanted to get back at you. But it didn’t mean I wasn’t sad you had lost back then.”

“I know that. I just like to see you flustered.”

And in seconds the air changed from friendly to something else. A thickening one that made his heart race that felt he had run all the way back home. Her lips were slightly chapped from the cold, but they still looked inviting. Her chest was rising and falling quickly and if it wasn’t for the music he was sure he would be able to hear her heart.

“Ganbatte ne,” she broke the spell with her words. She told him to do his best. He didn’t know how much he wanted to hear her say that to him.

He nodded his head and thanked her and got out of the car. She didn’t move until he was inside of the gate of his home.

Fate once again seemed to remind him that he can’t escape Riko. They are bound together in a way science probably couldn’t explain. One moment they could be old friends and next he was reminded he knew exactly what she looked like when she came. He was fucked. Maybe he shouldn’t fight it so hard. He should just let things happen naturally. That would be best.


	8. rewrite an ending or two for the girl that i knew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: she used to be mine by sara barellies

Riko woke up in her old room. Her twin bed was still the same. Not much had changed in her room. It seemed like it was recently cleaned. She saw some of her old art supplies lying around. Did her mom leave those out intentionally? 

But instead of feeling like home, she felt like she was in a stranger’s room. Even though she had memories of almost everything in her room, it felt like they didn’t belong to her. It made her think of the song from the musical Waitress; ‘She Used To Be Mine’.

_It’s not simple to say most days I don’t recognize me. That these shoes and this apron. That place and its patrons have taken more than I gave them. It’s not easy to know I’m not anything like I used to be, although I was never attention’s sweet center. I still remember that girl_

She can recall crying when she heard the song for the first time. And now it felt more personal than ever. Riko can’t seem to grasp the girl she used to be when she was in this home. She seemed like a past life. But she wanted to get back to who she was.

But then again, she had not been perfect. In reality she was still very much the people pleaser she has always been. Always seeking the approval of her dad. Her grandmother and grandfather. Wanting to officially belong somewhere. Being biracial was hard enough to deal with. Belonging neither here nor there. 

But seeing Ushijima last night had been nice. It reminded her that she did belong somewhere once a upon a time. They stood in front of the school that brought them together. When she saw him, she recalled the first time she saw him.

It was the first day of classes and she found what class she was going to be in, but the campus was so big that she didn’t know where to go. Ushijima wasn’t hard to miss and even though he was clearly tall as a tree she didn’t feel intimidated by it. She simply walked up to him because he looked friendly. She asked if he knew where class 1-5 was located at.

He told her that was his class as well and he was headed that way. She had felt the stares and heard the whispers, but she wasn’t sure why they were directed at them. What she didn’t know yet was that Ushijima was considered hard to approach and not to mention he had his fan club was watching the new ‘poor’ girl just start a conversation with the miracle boy.

Again, Riko felt like she had done that in another life. She hadn’t felt that love at first sight. To her, she had just been a nice boy who walked her to class. She was more concerned about her studies. She actually thought that it was odd he was in the same class as she was because hers were college prep classes. She quickly found out Ushijima wasn’t the brightest bulb.

She was often asked by him to get help on most of their classes. She didn’t mind because he was one of the few people who talked to her. She thought it was funny that it was her who won his heart. Maybe she could pinpoint when she started to feel something for him was when he asked her to go to his practices. He told her he was a volleyball player.

It only reminded her of her little brother who suddenly was very into the sport as well. She went to the practice and when she saw him jump and hit the ball, she was struck with awe. It was the first time she saw passion in his eyes.

That was the middle of her first year. That was the seed that had been planted and grew to be her first love. It bloomed into something beautiful and precious to her. Those weeks without him had been dark, but when they fixed things, it was just as beautiful as ever. It had grown bigger actually and she knew he was going to be endgame.

Adult Riko had to get out of bed. She smelled breakfast being cooked. She came home late, but she did stay up an hour talking to her mom. With a cup of tea, they talked about their lives. Her mom wanted to hear more about her college life. Riko wanted to find out the gossip about the neighbors. About Natsu. About Shoyo.

It had been a good talk. There was a connection again.

“I’m really glad you’ve come back,” her mom reached out her hand across the table. “How are you settling?”

“I’ve missed it here. I liked the States, but I just enjoy being here more.”

Then after that, Riko had gone to bed. Now she was up and on her way to the kitchen. Natsu was on the table already with a book in her hands. One more relationship to amend. 

“Good morning,” Riko stifled a yawn and covered her mouth and took a seat across from her younger sister.

“Good morning!” their mom said from the stove. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes. Just like old times,” she replied with a smile. “Natsu…how are you?”

Natsu placed her book down. “I’m good.” She pursed her lips in one of those polite smiles.

“Did you have fun at Disneyland?” Riko had sent money to her mom to take Natsu to the amusement park for her birthday. But that was a year ago.

“Uh, yeah. Thank you for that. Mom told me it was you who sent the money.”

“I’m glad you had fun. I wish I could have gone with you. I love going with Robby and Sandy.”

“I’m sure they love having a big sister…wouldn’t know about it.”

Riko could basically feel the sting on her cheek. It might have not been physical, but she felt like she got slapped across the face. But she really did deserve it.

“Natsu!” their mom hissed.

“It’s okay, mom,” Riko laughed nervously not wanting to start a fight. “She’s right. I haven’t been a good older sister. I just…left and thought a trip to Disneyland would make it okay. Natsu, I’m sorry for not being a better sister. I promise to change that.”

Natsu seemed to be caught off guard that Riko would admit to her mistakes but tried to stop a smile. She merely nodded her head. Even though it wasn’t much, it was much more than Riko expected, so she was satisfied. She meant her words. She wanted to reconnect with Natsu. She was in middle school already about to start high school next year and that seemed like it was too fast. A blink of an eye.

Breakfast was delicious. A home cooked meal was something she wasn’t used to. She had mainly take out in college. Plus, nothing beat a mom’s cooking. She felt the love in every bite, and it brought warmth to Riko’s chest that despite what she did and how she did things, her family was still there for her. 

Shoyo had left really early to warm up with his team.

Riko got her phone and saw she had several messages from Daichi letting her know where they would be meeting at the gym. He told her it was the same gym where they had beat Shiratorizawa. She hadn’t thought about it, but he was right. She was going back to that gym where she fell more in love with Ushijima and also hated his guts.

Since it was November and it was a lot colder, she chose a pink rose turtleneck along with a grey skirt. She decided to add some black tights to cover her legs from the cold. She brought one of her warmest coats that had a hoodie in case it snowed. When she chose her small black booties, she knew the risk of possibly only being on her feet, but it went so well with the outfit, she was willing to get blisters. She checked the time and she needed to leave soon, so she could meet up with Daichi and the others.

She said goodbye to her mom and little sister. She got into her rental car, looked up the directions for the gym and started her navigation. She decided to play some music and she hit the shuffle button on it, and she loved that the first song that played was ‘She Used To Be Mine’.

She hummed the song to herself and she felt the tears and she continued to the part that hurt her the most.

_She is hard on herself. She is broken and won’t ask for help. She is messy but she’s kind. She is lonely most of the time. She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie. She is gone, but she used to be mine_

Riko could continue to complain about her life or she could retake the reins of it. She didn’t owe anything to anyone anymore. She needed to stop feeling sorry for the things she didn’t do. She could only ask for forgiveness and move on. She may not have the career she wanted, but she wasn’t a bad lawyer. She did enjoy it. She wasn’t forbidden from creating art. She just couldn’t do it because it had a painful reminder of what she gave up. Ushijima. Her family. Her home.

Her hands tightened on the wheel as she sang _To fight just a little to bring back the fire in her eyes. That’s been gone but used to be miiiiiiiiine. Used to be miiiiiiine._. She was still a horrible singer, but music has been the only constant in her life. The one thing that she couldn’t give up because it always got her through the toughest of situations.

When she sat next to her dad while he was getting his chemotherapy, she would play his favorite music. Metallica. Pink Floyd etc. They reconnected through their love of music.

After that song it went on to ‘Meant To Be Yours’ from Heathers. She laughed to herself of how different the songs were, but she clearly enjoyed musicals.

The drive was good for her. She sang out her nerves and was filled with confidence. She got to the gym with enough time to spare. She quickly headed inside of the gym with her phone in her hand. Daichi told her where they were at. They were at Section B J.

But there one thing she wanted to do before she got to the cheering section. She had gotten something at a shrine on her way to the drive from Tokyo. She had planned to give it to Ushijima last night, but she chickened out. She remembered where the male’s changing rooms were.

She shouldn’t have been surprised to see that her brother was already in the hallway and talking to Kageyama.

“Shoyo!” She called out to him from the end of the hallway. He turned around and after recognizing her, he grinned. She ran down the hallway, which she knew was bad, but she had not seen Shoyo in a while. He ran to her as well and they embraced each other.

“Big sis!” he held her tightly. And she quickly realized how much taller he was than her now. He might be short in this sport, but she remembered a time she used to put her chin on the top of his head. Now she struggled to put her arms over his shoulders.

She kissed his cheek. “Good to see you.”

“And you. You came home late, so we didn’t get to chat.”

“And you left early,” she chuckled and pulled back from the embrace.

“How did you get into this area?” he wondered.

Riko had another trick up her sleeve. She pulled out an all access pass from her purse. “The perks of being a sports lawyer,” she waved it and put the lanyard on so she wouldn’t be escorted out. Then she reached back into her bag and pulled out the good luck charm she got at the shrine. “Here. For you and your team.”

“Thank you,” he bowed his head.

“Hi, Kageyama,” she waved to the black-haired boy—man. It was odd to think of Shoyo and his former classmates as men now.

“Hello,” he greeted. “You’re back from the States?”

“Yeah.”

His eyes narrowed a bit like he seemed to piece something together.

“Is Ushijima in the changing room?” she asked nervously.

“Yes. I’ll get him,” he turned back into the changing room.

“You’re talking to Ushijima-san again?” Shoyo asked beside her.

“Yes, we ran into each other in a restaurant. I was with Kuroo and Yaku and we ended up going to a club together. His manager wants me to be his sports lawyer,” Riko explained all in one breath. “I also ran into him last night at Shiratorizawa. It was why I was late. I gave him a ride home.”

“Whoa…that is a lot of information.”

“Is that Big Sis I hear?” the familiar voice made Riko turn and she squealed in happiness when she saw Bokuto.

“Bokuto-kun!” she wrapped her arms around him. He lifted her off the floor and twirled her around. She yelped but laughed. He did that often back in Brazil. “Put me down!” she yelled when he continued to spin her. He placed her down on her feet and she placed her hands on his shoulders to steady herself. She could taste her breakfast in her throat but swallowed it down. “Gross,” she smacked her tongue and then smacked Bokuto on his arm playfully. “You know I get motion sickness.”

“It’s good to see you too,” he laughed. “But I think I should be the one mad. Someone didn’t come to my wedding.”

She winced. “I know! I’m sorry, but maybe next time don’t have your wedding during finals and right before my bar exam.”

He laughed. “I’ll be sure to check your schedule before I schedule a big event in my life.”

“Good,” she teased.

“Big sis?” Atsumu joined the party.

“Hey!” she greeted him with a wave of her hand.

“Guys! Look, she gave us a good luck charm,” Shoyo waved the charm to his playmates.

Atsumu pouted. “Where’s mine?”

“It’s for everyone!” Bokuto hugged her again. “You’ve always been a great supporter. Back in Brazil she even played a little with me and even though she sucked, she did try.”

“It’s not easy jumping in sand!” she protested with a pout.

“Yes, you did,” he ruffled her hair.

“Ahem,” a deep voice came from next to them.

Ushijima had walked out of the changing room at some point. Riko wasn’t sure when. He was in his track suit and he was still so much bigger than she last remembered. Kageyama was behind him.

“Kageyama said you asked for me,” he commented.

“Yes…I did…” she reached for her purse and pulled out the other good luck charm. “I---uh—got this for you. To wish you good luck.” She held out the charm towards Ushijima and he took it. His fingers grazing hers and the electricity between them was still there.

“HUH?!” Atsumu groaned behind her. “I thought you were wishing—” his mouth was covered by Bokuto and Shoyo.

“Sorry,” Bokuto chuckled. “He’s…too loud. We will let you two have some alone time.”

Bokuto had to drag Atsumu back into the changing room. Kageyama went back into Adler’s one.

“I gave Shoyo one as well,” Riko told Ushijima.

“You think I’d care if you also gave one to your brother?”

She shrugged. “I just don’t want anymore…secrets or misunderstandings.”

“Because you want to be my lawyer?”

“Because I want to be your friend,” she corrected. “I understand why you would be hesitant to trust my intentions, but I am here as a friend. Not a lawyer.”

“Then how did you get an all access pass?” he pointed to her chest.

She chuckled nervously. “Okay…maybe I’m taking advantage of being a lawyer, but only to give this to you. Last night I wanted to, but…it didn’t seem like the right time. Well…I should go. I’m meeting up with Daichi and the other guys.”

Ushijima stared at the good luck charm for several seconds and then raised his head to meet her eyes. There was a fire in his eyes that reminded her of Ushijima from high school. When he used to play, whether it was just practice or practice game there was always that intensity in his eyes.

“Watch me…please.”

“I’m always watching you. Can’t tear them off of you.”

It was his turn to blush. Riko laughed lightly.

“I’ll…see you after we win,” he bowed his head.

His confidence still turned her on. Whatever was going between them. Was not friendly at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the last chapter I didn't realize it was the same night Linkin Park had that concert in LA for Chester from three years ago. It still hurts to think about him. I really did cry for him and his family.
> 
> Anyway. This chapter was inspired by the song of the chapter title. I feel like Riko just wants to feel like that girl she used to know.
> 
> I've felt that way before. Depression is a bitch.
> 
> anyway, thank you for reading <3
> 
> [RIKO'S OUTFIT](https://shoplook.io/outfit-preview/2544322)


	9. then i swear we can make this last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: if it means a lot to you by a day to remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that there are MANGA spoilers in this, but it's also not completely by the Manga since I changed some stuff to fit for my story.

Riko got to the end of the hallway and as she was putting her pass away, she heard someone call out her name. She turned to her right and was surprised to see her dad. He waved at her as he walked towards her with a big smile on his face. He also had the pass on his chest.

“Glad to run into you,” he told her. “When you said you were coming to this game, I did some research and it looks like the captain of Black Jackals is in need of a new agent.”

Riko kept herself from flinching. “You came here to work?”

“I was hoping you’d help me. Your Japanese is better.”

“Dad, I came to support my brother…and friends. I didn’t come here to work. Can’t you just give him your card or something?”

“Riko, you know it’s better when there is a personal touch. The Crawford firm is all about the—”

“Familial approach,” Riko finished for her dad and nodded her head. “The game is about to start. Maybe it’s better to find him after the game.”

Her dad nodded his head. “You are right…as always,” he chuckled. “I got us great front row seats. I also have some chatting up with some of the agents that are here. This is a great opportunity for you. Once I leave, you’ll have all the connections that you’ve made personally.”

“I have to go meet up with some friends,” she started walking backwards and waved at her dad. “I’ll see you on the court after the game!” She walked quickly away before he could stop her. She was aware that the captain of the Black Jackals needed an agent. But as she said she didn’t come for work. She just wanted to spend time with her friends and her brother.

Her dad would make it about work though. She was glad she was able to get away because if she had been roped into helping him talk to other agents, she would never be able to see Daichi and the others. She went back to the general area and she went to the section she was told to meet them. But she stopped for a bottle of water since she knew she was going to be doing a lot of cheering. After that, she quickly found them.

Daichi saw her first and he waved her down. She moved through the crowd and joined them. She greeted them with hugs and kisses. Asahi was actually taller. Suga was just as loud as ever. Tanaka and Kiyoko were seated next to each other. Riko congratulated them on their wedding as well. She was aware it was a year ago, but Hinata had been excited to attend.

In front of them were Tsukishima, Yamaguchi and Yachi who turned around to greet her politely. Maybe she wasn’t that different from her dad because seeing Tsukishima made her think of what opportune time it was to ask if he had an agent because his team was looking good to move to the first division and that meant more spotlight and a chance to be sponsored by good companies.

But she made herself stop. Today was not about work.

“Did you get to see Shoyo and Tobio?” Daichi asked as he made room for her so she would be between him and Suga.

“Yes. It seems both teams are right on the edge,” she told them. “I think this is years in the making and it’s finally come to this. It’s going to be epic. But…what are you guys up to?” She turned to Suga. “Shoyo said you’re a teacher.”

Suga nodded his head. “I teach elementary school. And you?”

“Sports Lawyer. I’m basically an agent,” she shrugged but then she turned next to Suga and saw Asahi. “And you’re a clothes designer, right? In Tokyo.”

Asahi blushed but nodded. “Yes.”

“You always did have good fashion sense,” she giggled.

“Your family actually owns…the place I work at,” Asahi cleared his throat and she dropped her smile slowly.

“Yes…my family has their money in a lot of different things. The clothing is mainly my grandmother’s thing.”

Asahi’s eyes widened. “Wait…your grandmother is…Elaine? _The_ Crawford, Elaine?” he covered his mouth with his hand and his eyes watered.

“Asahi, my full name…in the American way is Riko Elaine Crawford Hinata. First name, middle name and my two last names.” Her middle name was given by her dad thinking his mom would be happy to have his firstborn named after her.

“I can’t believe it! Your grandmother has literally changed designing for decades! She brought over western styles to Japan and made it work when Japan wasn’t ready for the move.”

“Whoa, Asahi, please contain yourself,” Suga laughed beside him and then he turned to Riko. “Just how rich are you?”

“Me? Not at all. My grandmother and grandfather? Filthy and old money rich. It apparently goes all the way back to the founding of America,” she rolled her eyes as she remembered the lectures her grandmother would give her.

“Is your grandmother in the States?” Daichi asked from her left.

“Yes. It’s just me and my dad here…for now. Once the firm is up and running, he’ll go back and…I’ll be…in charge of the firm.”

“You’re going to be running your own firm?” Suga asked.

Riko scratched the back of her neck. “Yes.”

At this point Tsukishima, Yamaguchi and Yachi turned around to listen in on the conversation.

“So does your family own a private jet plane?” Tanaka asked from the end.

She nodded her head.

“A yacht?” he rubbed his chin.

She nodded her head again.

“Mansion.”

“Mansions, plural.”

“A castle?”

Riko shrugged. “I guess…in Scotland they have a small one they bought for my grandmother’s 60th birthday.”

“Whoa…so rich, rich then,” Tanaka nodded.

She cleared her throat. “Well, it’s not mine.”

“Are you not going to inherit everything when your dad retires?” Tsukishima asked from in front of her.

She pursed her lips. “I guess so.”

“You’re basically royalty,” Tanaka gasped.

“No, not at all.”

“Your family basically owns a lot of businesses…successful ones,” Tsukishima pointed out. “I know your family has donated items to my museum and has made some donations as well. Big ones.”

Riko turned bright red not denying what he was talking about. She wasn’t sure if he was right, but she wouldn’t be surprised about it. Sometimes she even didn’t know how deep her family’s connections went. Somehow someway they always knew someone in each country. She stopped questioning it a long time ago.

“Okay, let’s lay off the princess,” Daichi told his friends.

“Yeah, or the Queen will have your head,” Suga giggled.

Riko pouted as everyone laughed and she rolled her eyes but was glad that there was no more awkwardness between them.

“Our apologies your royal highness,” Tsukishima smirked and bowed his head.

“Please spare us poor peasants,” Tanaka placed his hands together and knelt down to his knees.

Riko laughed along with them and felt so relieved she was able to be with people who weren’t impressed by finding out about her family. Asahi admired her grandmother but clearly wasn’t making a move to pretend to be her friend to get the connections through her family. Harvard had only been hard because she was alone.

When she tried to make friends, she would find out it was only because of her last name. They would find out she came from old money and a well-respected family and suddenly they were really close to her. Men would flirt with her and then ask they could be invited to a family dinner so they could meet her dad.

Riko had to be alone because she wasn’t sure who was actually a friend and who wasn’t. In the end the ones who didn’t care about her last name didn’t care enough about her to find out how she was doing since she moved across the world. It hurt but being Daichi and the other reminded her that she did have friends at one point in her life.

But she had to give them up. She pushed the dark thoughts away. She couldn’t change the past, so she just needed to move forward.

She just needed to live in the present.

“Shoyo-kun mentioned you went to Brazil,” Daichi changed the subject. “How was that?”

“Hot,” she fanned herself and then laughed. “I went around the same time Bokuto and Atsumu were visiting. Great timing actually. Then we ran into Oikawa-san. They all played some beach volleyball. It was fun,” she grinned remembering the best two weeks of her life.

“The Great King!” Tanaka growled.

“He’s actually a lot more relaxed now,” she told them. “I mean…he still takes volleyball seriously. But I got to know him better. He’s definitely going to be a big star though.”

“Doesn’t he play for a foreign team?” Suga questioned.

“Argentina,” she nodded her head. “They’re looking really strong and a favorite to win the Olympics in 2020.”

“You sure keep tabs on him,” Daichi chuckled and smirked. “Did something happen with him?”

Riko blushed but shook her head. “It’s not like that! I just…volleyball is really interesting, and I like to keep myself informed. It’s part of my job!”

“Maybe the things that happen in Rio stay in Rio,” Suga wiggled his eyebrows and pushed her shoulder.

If she got any redder, she could easily be mistaken for a tomato. But before she could protest anything the announcer spoke.

‘LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WELCOME TO THE 2018-19 SEASON V. LEAGUE DIVISION 1…SCHWEIDEN ADLERS HOME GAME! HERE IN THE SENDAI ARENA!’

“Ooh, it’s starting!” Yamaguchi told them and everyone turned their attention to the court.

She was going to finally see Ushijima play in person again. She was really happy she could come.

‘NOW TO INTRODUCE YOUR SCHEIDEN ADLERS’ STARTING LINEUP! NO. 2. THE TEAM CAPTAIN…HIRUGAMI, FUKURO!’

Riko rubbed her hands together and then placed them between her knees. Her eyes were on the court and watched as Ushijima appeared.

‘NO. 11 USHIJIMA, WAKATOSHI!’

Riko could hear the ladies scream a little louder for him. They screamed that they loved him and asked to marry them.

“Whoa, crap! It’s Ushiwaka!” Asahi gasped.

“Even at this distance, he’s still terrifying,” Daichi shivered next to Riko. “So…have you seen him since…you know?” he leaned closer so only she could hear him.

She didn’t move her eyes from Ushijima but nodded her head.

“He and I ran into each other basically as soon as I landed in Japan. I had a meeting with a potential client in a restaurant. We…talked and argued and now we’re just at a weird place,” she replied.

‘NO. 20 KAGEYAMA, TOBIO!’

“WAAAAH!” Yachi cheered.

“KAGEYAMA!” Yamaguchi screamed.

“I…think I’m going to cry,” Suga sniffled next to Riko.

“I have these tissues if you need them,” Asahi pulled them out and Riko laughed knowing that it was cute that Asahi had been ready to cry as well.

“KAGEYAMA!” Daichi shouted.

As the Adlers walked out the Black Jackals didn’t get announced since they were the ‘away’ team, but Bokuto made sure to get the attention. He announced himself and did some acrobats. It made the whole crowd laugh. Riko saw her little brother and clapped and cheered for him.

“There he is!” She pointed out.

“HINATAAAAA!” Tanaka howled and even with the crowd Shoyo heard him and turned and waved at them.

Riko stood up and waved her arms at him.

“Big sister!” Atsumu shouted towards her, but then Sakusa came up behind them and told them to control themselves.

Riko’s eyes wondered over to the one person she knew was looking her way. Ushijima looked as unreadable as ever, but she waved her hand at him. He gave her a short nod and turned back to his teammates.

“Jeez, you two still have that…thing,” Daichi whispered to her.

“Thing?” she played dumb, but her eyes went to Ushijima who was interacting with the little kids who came to meet them.

“Yeah that…weird magnetic pull,” Suga nodded his head.

“Is it that obvious?” she turned her head down.

Suga laughed and slapped her back. “Don’t act coy.”

The announcers explained how it was odd that the Black Jackals put out their best player for Shoyo. They explained how he had gone to Brazil to learn Beach Volleyball. Then the whistle was blown and that meant that game was about to start. Kageyama was going to serve.

There was a shift in the air and now everyone had their eyes on the court instead of her and she was glad about that.

Kageyama delivers a powerful serve, but she smiled when her brother was able to bump it clean. She was aware of how much higher Shoyo could jump since he had been jumping on sand for the past two years. His feet left the ground and suddenly she was thrown back in a flashback of when she first saw her brother jump.

Back when she was a high school student. Who hardly knew of what laid ahead of her. Who was just happy to come home to a warm meal.

Shoyo flew and spiked the ball. The entire place was in awe of her younger brother. She screamed his name and clapped for him. But she couldn’t help but glance at Ushijima to see what he thought. She was not surprised to see that excited grin on his face. The one that said he was up against someone good. In all the recent games she had seen of his, she had not seen that smile. It made her proud her younger brother was the only one who could get Ushijima visibly excited about playing.

Riko felt her heart race in her chest. Her chest was filled with warmth of being surrounded by good people. Regardless of who won today, she was happy to be there. She was happy to be back with people who wanted her around.


	10. hold my heart is beating for you anyway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: caraphernelia by pierce the veil feat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A REMINDER THIS STORY CONTAINS MANGA SPOILERS
> 
> and yet it is also not exact like the Manga. I changed some of the stuff to fit my narrative.

“How…the fuck…is that faster?” Riko swore she blinked once and the next thing she knew Shoyo had scored. Kageyama almost received it, but it went out of bounds. But there was a surge of pride inside of her that she had forgotten about.

Seeing Shoyo now made seem the Shoyo from Brazil when she first arrived a dream. Her heart still breaks when she remembered seeing Shoyo like that. It brought tears to her eyes.

__

_“Huh?” Riko turned bright red as the door opened and a young man who was not her younger brother answered. Her eyes went to her phone and to the apartment number to make sure it was the right now._

_The young man looked at her with awe. “Can I help you?” he spoke in Portuguese._

_She chuckled nervously and then pulled out her notes from her phone and tried to ask if he knew someone named Shoyo Hinata. She was sure her broken Portuguese would somehow get across But she had practiced a lot of words on her way over._

_14hr flight from Massachusetts and she was a little bit distraught._

_“One-chan?” a familiar voice spoke from the young Brazilian man, who stepped to the side and revealed her little brother._

_“Sho-kun!” She smiled widely, but then dropped her smile when she saw Shoyo ready to burst into tears. His eyes were puffy and red. And his overall aura was nothing like she had ever seen. It reminded her of Nationals after he got sick.  
_

CLAP!

Somehow it was time for Bokuto’s serve. He got everyone behind him to start clapping along with him. He seemed happy with himself to the center of attention. He serves and it looks like it’s going to hit the floor, but Hoshiumi received it so easily that the cheers seemed to change for the other side. It irked Bokuto, but her heart squeezed when she felt the back of her hairs raise.

“RIGHT! RIGHT!”

Riko gasped softly as she saw Ushijima take flight. It took her back in time when she first saw him play. The time when he invited her over to his practice and she saw what he actually did. 

Ushijima hits the ball and the ‘boom’ sound as it made contact with the libero and bounced off him scoring a point of the Adler’s. 

“BOOM GOES JAPAN’S BIGGES CANNON, USHIJIMA, WAKATOSHI!” the announcer cheered. “HE BOUNCED THAT ONE RIGHT OF INUNAKI, THE LIBERO. THAT HE DID! HIS STRENGTH IS ON PAR WITH THE STRONGEST IN THE WORLD!”

Riko found herself on her feet as she cheered for her ex-boyfriend. It had been a few months since she last saw him play and it seemed he was jumping higher and hitting harder. It was impossible not to be impressed. The same pride she had for Shoyo, she had for the Miracle Boy. 

“Hey, you here for him too?” Suga wiggled his eyebrows and gave her a smirk.

Riko watched as Ushijima turned to her and once again the world belonged only to them. She hoped he could see how happy she was. How she was grinning from ear to ear. How her heart was thundering in her chest and how proud she was of how far he had come. He gave her a short nod that she was sure was only between them. She sat back down sighed.

The game continued and each player proved to be an amazing. There was someone that Riko remembered from Nationals that seemed like a real monster.

Sakusa, Kiyoomi. He used to put spins to his hits that made it impossible for anyone to receive. She recalled seeing his warmup as to how flexible his wrists were. She shivered. Whoever said volleyball was a boring sport, had yet to see these players.

“IT’S THE LOT OF’EM!” Suga yelled. “THE WHOLE LOT OF’EM! THEY’RE ALL NASTY!”

Then it was Shoyo’s turn to serve and once again she was taken back to Brazil.

__

_“Wh-what are yo-you doing here?” Shoyo and Riko had moved into the living room and his roommate—named Pedro let them have their space._

_Riko held Shoyo’s face with her hands and wiped away his tears. “You sounded…homesick over the phone when I called. So, I decided to come to keep you company for a few days. Is this okay?”_

_He nodded his head in her hands limiting his movement. She released him and gave him a handkerchief. Her eyes went around the small apartment and smiled to see that he was living in a decent place. She always feared it was more rundown._

_“What about your school?” Shoyo finished wiping his tears and blowing his nose._

_“I’m on a small break,” that wasn’t a complete lie. It was almost spring break, but she might have jumped the gun and decided to start it early. But her finals weren’t for another few weeks. Her midterms were extremely hard, and this was much a break for her as for Shoyo. “So, how is everything?”_

_The last thing she wanted to think about was her life back in Massachusetts and what hell was waiting for her when she went back. In this moment, she was in Brazil with her brother._

_Shoyo cleared his throat and dropped his head. “I lost my wallet earlier today when I was making deliveries. Luckily my ID wasn’t in there, but I lost my—”_

_“Here,” she pulled out her wallet and handed him all the cash she had. “I know it’s American, but there must be a place you can exchange, right?”_

_Shoyo’s mouth dropped open at the several hundred dollar bills she pushed into his hands. “That’s too much! I can’t…!”_

_“Yes, you can,” she insisted. Plus it was money she had ‘borrowed’ from her grandmother’s wallet before she left. “It’s the least I can do, right? Since I just kinda left after Nationals and I know how sad you were because of what happened. I…want to make up for lost time. How about you treat me out for food then? I want to know what’s good around here!”_

_Shoyo stared at her for a long moment. For a second she thought she overshared, but she wanted him to know the truth. No more secrets, if she could help it. He didn’t need to know her dark life. He smiled widely at her and told her he was going to take her to the best place he knew._

__

“I think it’s been my pleasure to see Shoyo from the very beginning to now,” Riko found herself saying as she continued to watch. “I bought him his first volleyball, ya know. He begged for one and his dad said maybe if there was enough money. When I went to the States, I asked for one. They didn’t care what for, but when I gave it to Shoyo when I got back…it was…like the sun was out in the middle of winter. I’ll never forget his face when he held it and immediately went to the backyard and started to play with it.”

Daichi grinned as he glanced at her. “It is inspiring. I am thankful I was able to be part of it as well. You must be a proud sister.”

“The proudest,” she grinned and then her smile faltered. “I wish I hadn’t left. I wish I could have…stayed. I feel like I also missed a lot. When he told me, he was going to Brazil after high school, I wondered why then he explained it was because of the training camp at Shiratorizawa. He was amazed by the two on two games. I know it was for the better, but I was so scared that he was going all by himself.”

“You had your reasons,” he placed his hand on her arm.

“Thankfully Shoyo understood that…but there were some people…I let down. Including you. I told you I’d be back for your birthday and then after Nationals I disappeared again.”

Riko’s eyes fell on Ushijima and her heart tightened at the thought of how _he_ must have felt when she didn’t call. She didn’t write. She could only imagine what he must have thought. No, she could. He thought her words of love were not true. He must have thought that she didn’t mean anything she said that last night they were together.

But how wrong he was. Her love for him only grew. The distance made her love him more. After so much time had passed, she wondered if he thought about her. If he…still loved her.

“I’ve forgiven you,” Daichi squeezed her arm and she smiled warmly at him looking away from the court.

She chuckled softly at the sincerity. “Daichi, I really think you come into my life at the perfect time. Every time,” she placed her own hand on top of his.

There was deafening boom and she felt it coming. The ball that almost hit her in the face was quickly blocked by Daichi’s hand. Not only blocked, but he caught his with his bare hand. The entire stadium turned to them as he lowered the ball. The crowd cheered and clapped around them. Her breathing had quickened as her brain tried to catch up to exactly what happened.

Riko laughed nervously and her eyes went to the court to see who had sent the ball their way. Ushijima’s nostrils flared and his eyebrows were furrowed. She frowned back his way. Maybe it was an accident? Or did he sent that ball their way on purpose?

Daichi leaned in close to her. “I think someone isn’t happy how close we got.” He sent the ball back down.

“He’s not my boyfriend. He said it clearly that he thinks we should remain friends,” Riko replied through her teeth but kept the smile and waved back to the crowd to let them know she was fine. She was taught to remain calm in situations like these.

“It’s good you still got your reflexes,” Suga slapped Daichi’s back and laughed.

“Thanks for the save,” Riko smiled to the man next to her. “Last time I got hit with a volleyball was in Brazil and that hurt.”

__

_“ARE YOU OKAY?”_

_Someone asked Riko as she rubbed her left cheek after it was met with a volleyball. It had hit her so hard that she had landed on her ass on the hot sand of Rio. The person who seemed to have sent the ball her way held out their hand to help her up. She accepted the offer as her vision came back._

_“Riko! Are you okay?!” Shoyo came up from behind her as she adjusted off the sand off her butt cheeks. “AH! The Great King!”_

_Riko’s eyes adjusted to the blinding sun and she was met with a familiar face._

_Oikawa wasn’t looking directly at her, but over her shoulder to her brother. “Well, well, well. I don’t believe my eyes.”_

__

Riko came to love volleyball because of two people in her life. Her brother and Ushijima. The sport wasn’t something she thought she would spend her time admiring. Back in the states she found herself looking up games whenever she needed to study, she would put a game in the background. She liked to hear the sounds of the squeaking sneakers. She liked to hear the cheers. It reminded her of the times when she would go Ushijima’s practices and she would be there waiting for him. She would do her homework, so hearing those sounds helped her focus.

Romero was a player she had seen play several times. Not just because she kept up with the Adler’s but living with Shoyo she recalled her brother screaming at how amazing the player was. Mainly because of how easily he got to the ball no matter what. Wherever he was on the court, he was there just as the setter needed him.

Seeing him play live was cooler than she expected.

He played as though he wasn’t intimidated by the ‘monster players’. He played at his own pace and it suited him.

__

_“Get it! Get it!”_

_Riko grunted as she landed on the sand and it took her breath away as she was able to get the ball from falling onto the sand. The person who had been yelling at her to get the ball had been Atsumu. She hated that she was partnered with him for beach volleyball._

_But being the great player, he is Atsumu was able to score on Oikawa and Bokuto. Bokuto and Atsumu had arrived just a few hours ago and already seemed ready to play the moment they met up. She was covered in sweat and sand and just wanted to sit down and have a beer._

_But she did ask Shoyo to teach her how to play and it seemed the other guys had wanted to find out as well. Being the monster players, they were, they quickly caught on with the game and soon she felt like she should sit it out._

_“HA! You owe us beers!” Atsumu pointed at the other guys._

_Riko turned over on her back on the sand breathing rapidly. It had been a long time since she felt like her lungs were going to burst. But she grinned at the feeling of pain in her chest. A shadow loomed over her and Oikawa held out his hand to her._

_“I can see the family resemblance now,” he told her as he helped her up._

_“I’m hardly a good player,” she chuckled and wiped the sand off her ass._

_“I knew who you were when I saw you,” Oikawa went over to the cooler and took out a bottle of water and tossed it to her. “You went to Shiratorizawa.”_

_Riko opened her bottle of water and drank half of it. She turned back to Oikawa and sighed. “I also knew you. I watched your practice matches with our school. How…you lost every time. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to bring up any bad memories or something.”_

_The taller man chuckled and sat down on the cooler. “I remember seeing you on the bleachers with a sketchbook or your schoolbooks. Saw how Ushijima looked at you. He’d check every five minutes to see if you were still there.”_

_She laughed and sat down on the cooler since there was still some space. At the moment Bokuto and Atsumu were having a push off contest._

_“It seems ages ago since those times,” she opened her bottle of water again and finished it. She stared at her bottle and then released a deep sigh._

_“You two not together anymore?”_

_“I go to Harvard in the States. I haven’t spoken to Waka—Ushijima in…years. I doubt he’d want to see my face after I just up and left.”_

_“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”_

_“It’s fine,” she smiled the smile she was taught to mask all of her hurt. The one her grandmother told her to use when she wanted to hide it all._

_“Oh! A push off contest?” Shoyo came back from his job delivering. “Can I join?!”_

_She looked at her younger brother and felt good to see that he was doing so much better. She hated to see him so down when he is literally meant to shine. Slowly reality was setting in and she knew she would have to go back. Back to being watched all of the time. Her grandmother was sure to have a tighter leash after the stunt she pulled of coming to Brazil._

_But her dad was better. She wasn’t needed for any social events. She was sure her grandmother was probably going to send her to those stupid lessons of hers._

_“You seem lost,” Oikawa spoke next to her. “I’ve been there.” He leaned back and basked in the sun. “When your dear little brother defeated my school and our last chance for Nationals slipped through my fingers…I wondered if I truly loved volleyball. But I found out that it was something that I just couldn’t deny. My love for this sport…it knows no bounds. Whatever it is that you’re facing, you will get through it.”_

_Riko looked at Oikawa in awe. His words made sense. She was indeed lost, but coming here had been a good break. She only had a few years left of the deal she made and then she would be free. She just needed to endure a little longer. “And here I thought you were just a pretty face.” She teased._

_“You think I’m pretty?” he grinned devilishly. “Well, I am flattered, Riko-chan. But it seems your heart belongs to a certain ace and I do not wish—actually…if I steal his ex-girlfriend, it would be the ultimate revenge!”_

_“Such a pretty face with such a rotten brain,” she shoved him off the cooler and onto the sand and flipped him. “I’m not on the market, pretty boy.”_

__

Riko kept to herself how close she had gotten with Oikawa. She actually got an email from him just before she moved back to Japan. He wished her good luck and that she could call him anytime. A part of her kept it quiet because she didn’t think anyone else needed to know. She did wonder if Ushijima would care. It wasn’t like she liked Oikawa that way, but it seemed yet again she relied on someone else that wasn’t him. Oikawa’s words had helped her get the courage to return Massachusetts and face the music.

She didn’t see the light of day for months, but the trip had been worth it. She got to see Shoyo. She was able to be of help in some way. She got to meet Bokuto and Atsumu, who were one and the same person. Bokuto was just nicer about being the center of the universe.

“FOR ALL HIS RELATIVELY SMALL STATURE, HINATA HAS A DEFINITE PRESENCE OUT THERE ON THE COURT.”

She was so lost in the past, suddenly the game was 19-18 with the Black Jackals leading. Shoyo and Atsumu scored another point. Again, showing his growth as more than just a decoy or wing spiker. He could do anything on the court. It because of beach volleyball. Since there are only two people, one has to be a libero, spiker and setter all at once.

Ushijima spiked the ball and it looked like Shoyo was about to dig it, but it bounced off him and out of bounds. But the sound…the sound it made when the ball hit Shoyo, she felt her body shiver. Ushijima lifted his hand to Shoyo as if to apologize for using so much force.

“Ugh…that was scary,” Daichi shivered visibly.

“The fact that people have their arms in this game,” she shook her head.

Bokuto scores the last point giving the first set to the Black Jackals. The whistle blew and the teams got a quick break before the second set.

Riko grabbed her bottle of water from between her legs and opened it. She had been so enthralled by the game she nearly forgot she got it. She twisted the cap off and started to drink from it.

“We should go drinking after this!” Tanaka declared.

Riko nodded her head. “That sounds like a good time. I just have to drop off the car at my mom’s and I’ll take a taxi to wherever you guys wanna go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for the continued support. Happy New Year! I hope to write another story soon. I really want to go to AU's. Maybe a band one or something. Music really is my inspiration for my writing as you can tell by the chapter titles. Once again, thank you for reading and have a safe and fun New Year!


	11. now it's time to leave and make it alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: bye bye bye by NSYNC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT THIS STORY CONTAINS MANGA SPOILERS.
> 
> But I also modify some stuff for my story.
> 
> Enjoy!

The second sent went to the Adler’s. Riko cheered for them catching Ushijima’s eyes as the team moved yet again. It seemed no distance could keep them from gravitating towards each other.

Atsumu started the third set as the server.

He remained as scary as ever. Riko had a feeling he was warming up for most of the first set. Now into the third set everyone could see that he was insane as ever. Doing sets at the most awkward angle and yet scoring points. His serving habits remained the same. She recalled hating how many points he scored against Karasuno back at Nationals, but now she could admire him.

He just proved as Romero couldn’t even touch the jump serve.

Bokuto did a powerful line shot that got through 3 blockers including Ushijima and Romero. But apparently it touched the pole, so it was technically out of bounds.

“Oof, hopefully he doesn’t feel bad,” Suga said.

“Bokuto has grown out of those mood swings,” Riko told them. “He’s matured a lot and instead of bringing himself down, he finds a solution.”

She was correct when Bokuto did a cross shot.

“THERE IT IS FOLKS! BOKUTO’S SPECIALTY, THE ULTRA CROSS SHOT!”

“He has a fan group,” Asahi pointed to the group all wearing the MSBY jersey with his number 12.

“Cute,” Kiyoko giggled.

Sometimes Riko forgot that volleyball went rather quickly. In the moment it could feel like it’s been hours, but in actuality it’s only been a few minutes. Her heart is beating quickly in her chest. She was concentrating on the plays that at one point the score was

20 to 17 with the Black Jackals leading. Atsumu was up to serve again, but his serve was received by Hoshiumi who immediately proved once again that height might be a disadvantage in volleyball, but it sure didn’t make him incompetent.

“Did you watch volleyball in your school?” Daichi asked.

“I would stop by the gym,” she laughed. “Just to hear the noise and smell the icy hot. It was comforting.”

“How come you never played?”

“I was the artist of the family,” she shook her head. “I honestly never understood why Shoyo was so in love with it. Now…here I am obsessing over players I’ve never even met like Romero. I still kept up with his career…and others.”

“So, you plan to win him back?” Daichi whispered as the others concentrated on the game.

“I think I’ve hurt him enough,” she whispered back. “My family—it’s complicated to explain, but he deserves someone who didn’t abandon him.”

Daichi sighed. “You sure like to play the victim.”

“Ouch,” she hissed.

“Let him decide if he wants you back. He clearly cares for you and you care for him. I don’t think you two will be able to remain friends anyway. If he started to date someone, it would devastate you, wouldn’t it?”

Riko didn’t deny it. “It would, yes, but…I’m scared.” Her eyes went to Ushijima on the court as he got ready to serve. “I want to make up for what I did, but it feels nothing is enough.”

“Maybe start with a sincere apology and give him the entire truth. No holding back. He doesn’t need protection.”

Sakusa was able to receive the serve from Ushijima. The Black Jackals tried to score, but it was dug by Romero and it went to Hoshiumi who yelled for Ushijima.

Riko’s hair on her arms prickled as she felt like something amazing was coming. Ushijima’s jump was different. His arm basically did almost a full circle getting as much force as he slammed it down to the other side. Sakusa was there to get it, but it went out of bounds.

“Fuck,” Riko whispered to herself as her hands went to her mouth. The sound that spike had made was so loud.

“It’s not just their blockers,” Suga was pale as paper. “Now he’s literally blown away the three guys who’re the black jackals best defenders.”

“It isn’t just that he’s gotten physically stronger, either,” Asahi analyzed in deep thought. “His arm swing is different from back in high school.”

“Yeah, back then he would wait until he was in the air before pulling his hitting arm into the load position,” Riko explained. “And then whipping it forward in a powerful wham!! Thing of the motion like drawing a bow and shotting an arrow. That’s pretty orthodox, really. As far as techniques go. But that last hit was different. It was almost like was drawing a circle in the air making one continuous motion straight through to hit. He wasn’t just swinging his arm around either. It was more like he was following the motion of his entire torso. At no point does his arm ever stop, so he can transfer all of the momentum of his jump and swing onto the ball,” Riko finished explaining and the Karasuno alumnus gave her shocked expressions except for Tsukishima who remained expressionless. She cleared her throat. “Or something like that.”

Daichi was grinning next to her. Everyone well aware that her relationship with Ushijima was special and yet she was able to admire him as an athlete.

“That isn’t the only problem because he doesn’t have a lock and load pause there it makes it really hard to anticipate what kind of shot he’s going to use,” Daichi added.

“So powerful hits with a pause and powerful hits without a pause,” she smiled proudly her eyes glittered with it as well.

“There are advantages and disadvantages to both types of swings. Ushiwaka’s hits were plenty strong enough with his previous form, but I guess that wasn’t enough. He decided to destroy his best weapon and rebuild it. That’s pretty incredible,” Asahi praised. “The greatest strength forever incomplete. But still an extra helping of oomph on top of an already hard to predict shot? How is that legal?”

“That’s not all. Don’t forget that it comes with that nasty southpaw spin too,” Daichi added.

All the talk about Ushijima reminded Riko of their time back in Shiratorizawa.

__

_“Can you believe she just let’s all the boys call her by her first name?” the girl in the Shiratorizawa uniform was a horrible whisperer._

_Riko ate her bento lunch in silence. Her seat was in the front but the last one closer to the windows. It was biology class, so the desks were meant for two people. Her desk mate was a quiet boy named Ushijima. She recalls she asked him for directions when the term started, and he was very nice and formal. But since it was lunch, she had the desk to herself._

_Riko had clearly gotten attention since she was on a scholarship, which somehow everyone found out. She also wasn’t staying in the dorms like all of the other students. Guys used her first name without permission and she just didn’t correct them. She stood out since most of her features were different._

_“She better not be a bad influence on Ushiwaka,” the girl continued to whisper to her group of friends, who agreed with her with nods. “Oh, Riko-chan!” The girl came over to the desk and placed her hands-on Ushijima’s side and leaned forward. “You know that Ushiwaka is off limits, right? You may have all the boys drooling over you, but you’re a nobody with no money. He deserves better.”_

_“He is his own person,” Riko smiled back but then dropped it. She pulled out her earphones from her bag and connected it to her phone. “He can make his own decisions. As far as money, I may not have much, but trust that I earned my way here and I didn’t use my family’s influence. I’ve seen your test scores; you’re going to need a miracle to pass. Maybe another year will make you remember the difference between a metaphor and an analogy.” She placed the earphones in and ignored anything else the girl said._

_“Is there a problem?” a deep voice made Riko turn back._

_Behind the girl stood Ushijima. The girl startled straightened her back, turned to face the tall boy and mumbled something about just making small talk. Riko rolled her eyes as the lies fell out of her mouth, but she didn’t want to start anymore drama. The girl went back to her group of friends with a red face._

_Ushijima pulled his chair out and sat down. Her eyes went to the clock and it seemed lunch was about to be over in five minutes._

_“You should wipe down your side of the desk. She placed her hands on it and who knows where her hands have been,” she warned him and she might have noticed he tended to be very clean and neat._

_“Thank you for your concern,” he said as he pulled out a pack of wipes. “How is your lunch?” he gestured with his left and wiped the desk with his right._

_“Cold,” she frowned and placed the lid on it. She wrapped her bento box and then placed it in her bag._

_“If they are giving you trouble, I can—”_

_“Don’t worry about it,” she waved her hand. “I can handle it. Thank you, you’re really nice, despite your appearance.”_

_“I do not look nice? I guess I am not as approachable as most people.”_

_Riko stifled a laugh since she had no idea how aware he was of his own expressions or lack thereof. “You always seem to be in deep thought,” she chuckled. “But I’m glad we’re friends.” She meant that. He was one of the few people who didn’t treat her any differently. There was that tall, skinny guy from her English class who sat behind her and made conversation with her._

_Ushijima’s smile was small, but she had a feeling he didn’t do it often and the fact that she made him smile sent butterflies to her stomach._

_“Friends. Yes, we are.”_

__

It really felt like a fever dream. Something out of a shojo manga.

Will it always remain like that?

Riko truly thought Ushijima was going to be the person she would spend the rest of her life with. She thought she did the right thing to protect him from her grandparents.

The third set went to the Jackals.

“Oh, I forgot this was best out of five,” Kiyoko spoke out loud.

“Yes, I don’t miss those,” Asahi glared. “I felt like I could barely stand. I couldn’t imagine doing it with these pros.”

On the fourth set, Atsumu started the serve.

At one point Riko’s heart went to her throat when it seemed Ushijima and Shoyo were connecting in a way that made goose bumps raise down her arms. Her eyes remained on those two. Her hands were crushing the empty bottle of water she had bought it was so intense.

Then when Shoyo dug one of Ushijima’s spikes and it went back to the Adler’s side of the court, she could **feel** demanding Kageyama to give him the ball.

 _Give it to him! Give it to him! Give it to him!_ she thought to herself and maybe she actually muttered it outloud.

Kageyama being the attentive setter sent the ball to him. In half a second her eyes went to Shoyo and she felt the same intense sensation coming from him. She could see that he was keeping calm, but not too calm. She heard Ushijima make contact with the ball and watched as it went straight to Shoyo.

Shoyo did a small movement barely noticeable. He just crouched down a little lower probably less than an inch, but it seemed perfect because the ball went to his arms and received it perfectly.

“Wh—wh---what?!” Yamaguchi yelled.

“Whoa! That went straight at him! Lucky for us!” Suga smiled.

The game continued and it was incredible to be a part of such an once in a lifetime game where both sides seemed to be the best at everything.

Riko flashed a bright smile. “Thank you for inviting me, little brother,” she said to herself.

The Adler’s caught up to the Black Jackals.

She felt her phone vibrate in her purse. She took it out to see a text from her dad.

_Meet me by the announcers table. I could use your help, please. Can you believe this insane game?!_

**I can meet you after the game. I’m still with my friends** is what she planned to send, but instead she sent **Yeah. Give me five.**

“Hey, I gotta go,” she said into Daichi’s ear over the loud crowd.

He pulled back with a concerned look and his eyes accessed her. “What is it?”

“My dad just texted me. Needs my help. Send me the address of the bar and I’ll meet you guys there, okay? Do you mind letting the others know?”

He pursed his lips but nodded. “Okay. You got it.”

She stood up and left. She heard Suga call out for her, but she hurried down the steps. She took out her badge from her purse and placed it around her neck. She went to the ground floor and showed the security guards her badge and they let her through.

“Riko-chan!” Her name was called out from behind her.

She twirled around and saw Kuroo.

“Kuroo,” she smiled.

He approached her and frowned. “Tetsuro, remember?”

“Ah, yes,” she giggled and saw that he was in a suit. “You working?”

“Of course,” he grinned. “Just waiting for the game to be over,” he crossed his arms across his chest. “What happened to your brother in those two years?” he laughed and shook his head as he turned towards the court.

They happened to be behind the photographers close to where her dad said to meet her.

“He soaked up everything from there,” she replied pride clearly in her tone. “But even I didn’t know he would be this good back here. I’ve seen him play Beach Volleyball and it was amazing to see him there, but he made even more improvements after I left.”

“You went to Brazil?” he cocked an eyebrow.

She nodded her head. “Yes. Around the time Bokuto went.”

His eyes lit up. “That’s right! He posted some stuff on his Instagram.”

“Riko,” her dad’s voice came from her right. Her dad stood beside her and then his eyes went to Kuroo. “Hello, Kuroo. Good to see you,” he held out his hand and Kuroo took it and shook it. Riko caught between the two. “Are you on the job?”

“Yes, sir. Are you two as well?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“No.”

Riko and her dad answered. She cleared her throat.

“Uh…I should go…” Kuroo sensed the sudden tension between father and daughter. “I’ll see you in Tokyo!” The former middle blocker left them alone.

“Riko, is everything okay?” her dad gave her a confused expression.

“No. It isn’t, dad. I’d appreciate some boundaries. You know I was with friends. I didn’t come here to work. I just wanted to relax and support my brother,” she gestured to the court. Her eyes went to the court for a moment and Ushijima was looking at them.

There seemed to have been a time-out and the Adelr’s seemed to face where she was.

Riko looked around to make sure no one else heard her outburst. Her dad took half a step back. He had never seen her stand her ground like that.

“I…you’re right,” his voice sincere. “You can go back to your friends. I can take care of this.”

Guilt ate at her and she hated that. She was in the right, but she also knew that it was because she let people step over her and order her around. She promised herself that her dad would never find out about the deal with her grandparents. She didn’t want to hurt him and at this point it didn’t seem like it mattered.

“I’m already down here, dad, can we just…wait until the game is over?” she asked as she faced the court.

He nodded and stood next to her. “You must be so proud of your little brother.”

“Of course. I’ve seen him start from the very beginning. I remember when he came back home after he watched that volleyball game at the store. I saw…something spark behind his eyes. I’d never seen someone love something so heartedly.”

“He sure is intense. It seems his time in Brazil really shaped him.”

She agreed with a nod of her head. “I used to have the same feeling with my art. When I used to finish one project, I’d move on to the next one,” she thought of the time she spent working on her portfolio for Tama Art. Those few short weeks she felt like she knew exactly what she wanted out of life. A wonderful boyfriend and a future with him and a future doing something she loved. She couldn’t recall feeling like that after she left. Maybe when she was with Shoyo in Brazil and she was surrounded by people who liked her for what she was and not who she was. It became clear what she needed to do. “Dad…”

“Yes?” he asked.

“I quit.”


	12. descubrir el amor juntos cada mañana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: hoy tengo ganas de ti by Alejandro Fernandez feat. Christina Aguilera
> 
> translation: discover love together every morning

“You don’t look surprised,” Riko told her dad her heart was thundering inside of her ribcage. She mostly expected her dad to have a bewildered look to look caught off guard, but he wasn’t not even a bit.

Her dad chuckled and smiled sadly. His face softened in a way she had never seen before. “I’ve had the feeling…for a long time that something has been up. We can talk more in-depth Monday. You should enjoy your time with your friends and your family.” He placed his hand on her back and rubbed it gently.

“I mean what I said,” she told him.

He nodded his head and removed his hand from her back. “Yes, I know. I’m not going to pressure you into anything. I just want to have a real talk, Riko. No bullshit,” his eyes hardened, and she took a step back and wondered if he knew. No, her grandparents made sure her dad wouldn’t know about the deal. “But, go ahead and enjoy your time. I’ll hold off letting your grandparents know until Monday.”

It seemed the both of them knew that if her grandmother found out Riko quit that she would take the private jet to Japan and demand answers.

“Thank you, dad,” she blushed because she couldn’t remember her dad being this protective of her. She wrapped her arms around his torso, and he embraced her as well, kissed the top of her head and whispered an ‘I love you’. He pulled back from her and Riko felt light as a feather.

It brought tears to her eyes because it was both exciting and terrifying what she just did. She stood her ground and she did what felt right. She didn’t let any dark thoughts cloud her head for the moment. She turned back to the game.

She couldn’t wait to tell Ushijima everything. She hoped that he would listen to her. She wiped off any tears that fell. She felt like she missed a lot from the game, so she made her way around the court to have a better view of it.

The game was still neck to neck, but the Black Jackals were leading by one point. 20 to 19. Bokuto had just scored with a feint. She had found a good spot where she wouldn’t be in the way, but she was almost in-between the two teams. She cheered for Bokuto, but then Ushijima scored, and she found herself screaming his name.

He heard her and he found her. He broke into one of his unusual grins. Those rare, real ones she adored so much.

After a few minutes the teams were tied again. 23 to 23 and both teams kept being neck to neck and it was so confusing cheering for both. For Shoyo, Atsumu, Bokuto and then Ushijima. She did admit it was hard to keep track of her little brother. One moment he was on one side of the court and in a flash, he was on the other side. A true ninja. Shoyo once hated being the ‘decoy’.

He felt that it wasn’t cool enough. Now, he accepted it and even lured people to him because he made them believe he was going to get the ball.

Riko watched in awe as Shoyo led the Adler’s to the wrong side of the court as Atsumu set the ball to go to Bokuto who scored the final point.

The Black Jackals won. The fourth set went to them which meant they had won three sets. Riko was disappointed that there wouldn’t be a fifth set, but she was extremely happy for her brother and friends.

The crowd went wild. Everyone expected the Adler’s to win since they were reigning champions, but she was sure everyone was surprised to see Shoyo and his new moves and improved talent made it hard to keep up with him.

Riko saw Ushijima catch his breath. She saw that the final point had been near him, but he just didn’t get it. She wondered what was going through his head. Regardless of who won she loved him more than she did before. She was also so proud of him of making changes. He used to be the type that thought that if someone wasn’t broken, why fix it? He wasn’t the same person he was in high school, so it made her wonder if his feelings about her changed as well.

The players met at the net and shook hands. After they dispersed, she wanted to go to Ushijima, but she was found by Bokuto.

“Onee-chan!” He shouted. “HEY! HEY! HEY!” He picked her up by the waist and twirled her around.

“BO! PUT ME DOWN!” She laughed.

The ace placed her on her feet.

“Onee-chan! Did you see?!” Atsumu placed his arm around her shoulder. “Wasn’t I the best? The best setter?”

She tapped his cheek. “Yes, I saw. But as far as better setter, Kageyama still has you beat by…this much,” she pinched her pointing finger and thumb with an inch of air between them.

“You wound me,” he pouted.

“She’s my sister,” Shoyo grumbled. “I should be getting all of the praises.”

Riko removed Atsumu’s arm and she hugged Shoyo tightly. She didn’t care that he was sweaty.

“I’m so proud of you,” she told him. “I’ve become a fan, for sure. You are going to go to amazing places. You are going to inspire younger people to fall in love with volleyball just as much as you have.”

Shoyo hugged her back just as tightly as she had. “That means a lot to me. Thank you for being here for me. And hey, your good luck charm worked! I finally beat Kageyama!”

Riko pushed him back by the shoulders. “The final boss.”

“Riko,” her dad approached them.

Shoyo stiffened. “Hello! Sir!” He bowed.

Her dad smiled. “It’s good to see you, Shoyo-kun.” Her dad’s Japanese was fluent, but a tad rusty but he got by just fine it seemed. “I just wanted to tell you that you have become an amazing player. You sure showed everyone that height isn’t everything.”

“Thank you, sir!” Shoyo bowed again his face red and clearly nervous.

“You don’t have to do that,” her dad laughed and then turned to her. “I just wanted to say goodbye. I am headed back to Tokyo. I got the captain of the Black Jackals to come to have lunch with me on Tuesday. I also have to get everything covered—ah…no, don’t feel bad. I can do just fine.”

Riko smiled and then hugged her dad. “We’ll talk Monday. I promise.”

Her dad broke the hug and then left. She watched him disappear into the crowd.

“Is everything okay?” Shoyo asked her.

“Yes, it’s great.” She grinned. No need to dampen the mood.

“We should do our stretches,” Sakusa told them from a safe distance.

“Oh, the gang wants to go to a bar after,” she pulled out her phone and saw that Daichi had already sent her the name of the bar. “I’m sending you guys the name of it.”

“Oooh, it’ll be just like Rio!” Atsumu wiggled his eyebrows. “Too bad Oikawa isn’t here for you to grind on.”

She made a face. “I was drunk, and you swore not to bring it up again.”

“It’s burned into memory,” he pointed to his head.

“Go do your stretches,” she shoved him in the direction of his playmates. Her eyes went to the other side of the court to see that Ushijima was also doing his cooling stretches. There weren’t people surrounding him, so she thought it would be the perfect time to talk to him.

She made her way across the court, but then she was blocked by someone.

Her eyes went up to see that it was the captain of the Black Jackals.

“So, you’re Shoyo-kun’s older sister that everyone was talking about in the locker room. I’m Meian, Shugo,” he extended his hand to her.

She took it and shook it. “Nice to meet you. I’m Riko. You were really great.”

“You don’t go by Hinata?” he asked.

“It is really confusing, so I just use my first name. Long story short, we have different dads.”

“Well, Riko-chan, we really appreciated your cheering,” there was that feeling Riko got when she felt someone was flirting with her, but she didn’t want to just assume. “Uh…do you mind if I have your number?” Okay, so it wasn’t in her head. “Your brother said you were a sports lawyer.”

Riko chuckled and felt stupid that she jumped to conclusions. “Actually, the guy you have a meeting with on Tuesday is my dad.”

His eyes widened. “You’re a Crawford…from Crawford firm that just opened up in Tokyo. You just recruited Yaku.”

Riko smirked. “I did, yes…but I no longer work there, but I can assure you that you will be in good hands. My dad has been in charge of our firm in Los Angles and the one in Boston, so he knows what he’s doing.”

“I can’t believe Shoyo is related to the Crawford’s…” he laughed dryly. “You came all the way from Tokyo to cheer for your brother?”

“Well it’s been years since I saw him play and it was truly an honor to be part of it.”

“It’s hard not to keep your eye on him. Glad he’s on my team,” he joked.

Riko laughed a bit, but then cleared her throat. “Well, I do have to talk to someone,” she walked around him, but when she went to find Ushijima, he was surrounded by fans wanting to get his signature. So much for getting a chance to talk to him.

“Oh, can I still have you—”

“Let me stop you there,” Kuroo appeared and placed his arm around Riko and since he was so much taller, it was like he was leaning on her. “This little one is spoken for,” he winked at the captain.

“I’m so sorry,” Meian bowed his head and with pink cheeks he quickly walked away.

Riko removed Kuroo’s arm mainly because he was putting all of his weight on her. “Why did you do that?”

“Otherwise Ushiwaka would have started a fight,” Kuroo laughed and gave her some space. “You and your dad okay?”

She nodded her head. “Really good. Thanks for giving us space. Oh, we are going out for drinks after this wanna come?”

“Who is we?”

“Suga, Asahi, Daichi—”

“I’m in. Send me the name of the bar,” he winked. “Now I gotta find your brother to get him to be part of my new special project.”

She nodded and watched him leave. She found herself in a weird position. She couldn’t really approach Ushijima and everyone else seemed to be busy. She decided that she should go be out of the way. She felt that it was better to meet Ushijima near the lockers.

She made her way and then she saw someone familiar.

“Akaashi,” Riko recognized him from the wedding photos Bokuto sent her. “Or should I say Bokuto?”

“Ah, Hinata-chan,” he fixed his glasses and smiled. Next to him was someone she remembered from Nationals.

“Oh, the Little Giant,” she pointed to him and then winced and lowered her hand. “Sorry…I just…we’ve met before. When you met my brother, Shoyo in his first Nationals game.”

The long-haired man smiled. “Ah, yes. You’re friends with Saeko. The artist.”

“Yes,” she nodded her head loving to hear that. “Did you enjoy the game?”

Both of them grinned and gave each other a knowingly expression.

“What?” she asked.

Udai blushed. “I think I’ve been truly inspired today. My recent manga is about to be over, but I think I know what I want to write about next.”

“These players sure know how to inspire just about anyone,” she agreed. “I know Shoyo inspires me to go for what I love regardless of what anyone else thinks. And that true hard work pays off. I can’t wait to read what you have. So, you are his editor, Keiji?”

He nodded his head in agreement. “Yes. Well, we should go. We’re interviewing my husband for research for the new project.”

“Good luck,” she waved and headed her own way as well. It was nice to meet Keiji in person. She had only seen him in the Facetimes with Bokuto. She really was sad when she couldn’t make it back to Japan in time for their wedding, but the photos Bokuto sent her made her feel like she had been there.

She recalled seeing the picture of the two of them feeding each other cake and Riko’s heart ached at the sight of pure love in their eyes. 

She wanted that in her life again. She could only recall feeling like that once in her life and that was with Ushijima.

Riko was able to go back to the hallway where the locker rooms were. She found a bench to sit on and then waited. Her hands shook as everything seemed to crash in on her.

Did she really just quit? What was going to happen with her grandmother? She shuddered at the thought of being alone with her. Seeing her crystal blue eyes burn into hers with those pursed lips. But she just couldn’t do it anymore. A few months earlier than the deal had to be enough, right? Plus, her dad was going to take back control of the company.

Her little brother Robert was 12 and in fifteen years he should be done with school and should be the heir of everything. It was what her grandparents wanted in the first place. Riko had just been a substitute due to the illness of her dad. They didn’t want her when she was born and for most of her life she was ignored.

The only way they looked her way was because her dad had been on death’s door. Otherwise she was sure she would’ve been able to do as she wished. Her life could have been so different. She could have been married by now. She could have avoided so much hurt.

“Riko,” the softness of the voice made her blink.

She didn’t realize that the players were walking to the locker rooms. In front of her stood Ushijima with a worried expression. She blinked and then shot to her feet. She wasn’t aware of how much time had passed.

“Oh, hey…uh…” she started but somehow words were escaping her and then she started to breathe quickly.

“What is it?” he took a step closer to her and basically shield her from everyone else as she felt her eyes burn. “Let’s go.” He took her hand and then dragged her down the hallway farther into it and then he opened a random door on the right.

It was a cleaning supply closet, but it was surprisingly spacious.

“Are you okay?” he asked after he closed the door behind him.

The tears fell freely down her face. “Uh…I just quit.”

“Quit?”

“Watching you and Shoyo reminded me that I’m definitely not doing what I want to do. That I’m so unhappy because I was stripped of my choice to do what I wanted. Sure, I stayed to make sure my dad was okay, but that’s all I wanted to do. I didn’t want to be their little mascot! I just wanted to stay by my dad’s side and make sure he survived, so seeing you and Shoyo gave me the courage to do the one thing I’ve been wanting to do for three years!”

She had spoken so fast that she didn’t notice how close Ushijima had gotten, but her head turned up to see his face. Her hands went to her mouth.

“I didn’t mean to dump all of that on you just now. I—and I’m over blabbing about myself when…when you lost,” she dropped her voice on the last word.

“My team was not expecting your brother to have gotten so good, so we were all caught off guard, but rest assured we will win the next one,” he took her hands off her mouth. “I don’t mind if you tell me what’s wrong. I want to know.”

She gulped. “You do?” her eyes went to the floor. “What if…what if the things I have to say are…really dark?”

He lifted her chin with his fingers, so their eyes met. His eyes were warm, and it melted her heart. “I don’t care. I want to know. But don’t feel obligated because you left.”

Riko didn’t deserve him. She rested her head on his chest and being so close she was able to hear his fast racing heart.

“But I do owe you an explanation. You just might not like me afterwards or think I was du—”

“You were only eighteen. Your dad had cancer and I’m sure you had other pressures as well came,” he rubbed her back and it only made her cry harder because a part of her was scared that once he knew then he wouldn’t want to be with her anymore.

She clenched his sweat drenched shirt and buried her face. His hands on her back burned through her clothes and she felt the warmth of his skin against her own. After she seemed to settle down, he pulled her back and took out a handkerchief from his jacket. She thanked him softly and used it. She told him she would get it cleaned and return it to him.

“It was nice to see you cheer for me,” he whispered.

Riko smiled a bit. “That was really easy to do. You…changed.”

“Good or bad?”

“Good, of course. I sensed that you were confidant in your teammates but not cocky like before.”

“Your brother continues to humble me,” he chuckled. “It seems his time in Brazil truly let him hone all skills.”

She nodded her head. “It sure did. He improved even more than when I saw him last in Rio. Uh, I’m going to go drinking with some of gang…would you like to come?”

The corner of his lips lifted. “If you want me to go, I’ll go.”

She grinned as she stared into his eyes. “I’m glad I came. I think I saw one of the greatest games of volleyball ever played.”

“I agree. After drinks…would you want to drive back to Tokyo together?”

“You want to be stuck in the car with me for hours?” she teased.

“There is no other place I would rather be,” he gave her a sweet smile and it made her face heat up. The air seemed to change in seconds as it became thicker. The heat in his eyes made her highly aware that they were alone in a dark room. Their bodies seemed to move to their own accord, and they found themselves kissing each other. She went on her tip toes and he hunched over.

Her tongue swiped over his bottom lip and he let her in. Riko explored his mouth with such urgency as if it would be the last kiss of her life. He let her have control for a few minutes, but then he quickly changed the pace when he lifted her by the waist.

Her legs automatically went around him, and her back was pressed against the concrete of the wall. Her arms went around his neck as he took over the feverish kiss.

“Wait, wait,” she pulled back and looked into his eyes by cupping his face with her hands. “You know Daichi and I are just friends, right?”

He smirked. “Yes. It truly was an accident the ball went that way. Sorry it almost hit you.”

She grinned. “You were jealous?”

“I know you and he have…history. A very brief one, but when Meian approached you I nearly broke through the crowd and pulled you away from him,” he growled and dipped his head down to her neck. “I saw the way he looked at you. When he talked to you. All I wanted to do was remind everyone who you belong to.”

Riko gasped when his teeth scraped her soft flesh. “Ushi—”

“No…say my **name** ,” he groaned against her skin. He grounded against her making her feel his bulge.

The room had gotten ten times hotter than before. “ _Wakatoshi_ ,” she whimpered his name when he bit her sensitive spot below her ear that caused her to release an unflattering squeal, but it only made him growl in return. She repeated his name when he went to the other side of her neck and repeated the same actions.

“I can’t seem to keep my hands to myself around you,” he lowered her to her feet slowly and he crouched down as well. His hands caressed the curves of her body they stopped at her chest and he kneaded her breasts for a moment before continuing lower. “I’m always magnetically pulled towards you. My eyes go to you heedlessly of what is happening. I have to know where you are…to see if you’re watching. I want you to see me.”

“Like I’ve said…I’m always watching you,” she quivered when he went down to his knees in front of her.

His large hands had gone to her backside. “I want…to taste you. It’s all I’ve thought about since I’ve last tasted you.”

Riko could hardly believe that was only a few days ago, and yet it felt as ages had passed. He moved his hands underneath her skirt and her skin jumped at the sudden contact even though she wore tights she felt it. She threw her head back hitting the concrete, but the pain didn’t register since it was mostly pleasure going through her body.

“Please, Toshi,” she cried wanting nothing more than to feel his tongue on her.

Her tights were in the way and he seemed to read her mind because without any effort he ripped it from her skin. Literally ripped it instead of rolling it down. She hardly had time to protest not that she would have because he dove face first into her core.

Her panties were saved, so he had to pull them aside to get full access. The first swipe of his tongue and her back arched. The tingling sensation went from her core and spread throughout her body until she felt it in her scalp. He clearly felt confident in what he was doing because he did as he wished. His pace was quick, and her hand went to his hair to steady herself.

He hiked her leg over his shoulder. Their height difference clearly showed as he really had to crouched down, but he didn’t seem to complain. He showed so much enthusiasm as he ate her.

“Fuck, Toshi,” she moaned and let out some kind of sound because his finger entered her all the way to his knuckle.

He slowed down his rhythm and it was all she needed to go over the edge.

Her mouth dropped open and even though she felt like she screamed no sound left her throat. She tugged tightly on his hair causing a groan from him, but the next few seconds were a blur and only ecstasy coursed through her body. When she felt herself come down, she relaxed her hold on his hair. He was still licking her, so she pushed on his forehead to push him off since she was so sensitive, but he did not budge.

“Please…I can’t…” she panted but she removed her hands as her second wave came, and it was stronger than the first one. She felt her eyes burn with tears. She finished and this time he did pull back with a satisfied smirk. Her legs wobbled as she went down to her knees on the floor.

Disoriented still, he kissed her and as she tasted herself along with him, she never wanted to leave the room. She knows exactly where she belonged and it was wherever Ushijima was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say I love all of the kudos you guys leave and the comments just inspire me so much. Thank you all for reading.   
> <3


	13. será por tu amor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: por ti by Belanova

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title translation: it will be for your love

The bar wasn’t that far from the Sendai gym, so it was actually full of people. Riko had arrived before Ushijima. He texted her that he had to take care of some things with his team and then he would see her there. She found the Karasuno alumni at the corner of the bar. It wasn’t only Karasuno though. It included most of the Black Jackal players and some of the Adler’s. With so many people they took over several booths along the wall so everyone was broken into smaller groups.

The person who saw her first was Suga. He turned from Asahi and waved her down and told the table he was sitting on to scoot over.

She removed her coat as she got closer and she was able to squeeze herself at the end of the booth. With her were Kuroo, Daichi, Asahi and Tsukishima. She shivered visibly as the warmness of the place reached her legs and she wasn’t freezing anymore.

Suga, next to her, noticed she was rubbing her now very visible legs, so he smirked.

“Were you not wearing leggings last time we saw you?” he teased.

Immediately Kuroo and Daichi looked under the table since they were across from her.

“Oooh, someone was up to something naughty,” Kuroo wiggled his eyebrows. “My money is that you found a certain south paw player and made up.”

Riko pursed her lips and placed her hands on her face to hopefully stop her face from turning any redder. “Shut up, rooster head.”

“She isn’t denying it,” Daichi grinned and winked her way.

“Plus…it’s not official…yet,” she removed her face.

Suga poured her a glass of beer. “Here, sorry for throwing you under the bus. But you look happier than when we first saw you.”

“Agreed,” Daichi nodded his head. “What happened?”

Riko took a big gulp of her beer almost finishing it and then slammed down the glass on the table. “I quit my job.”

Most of the gasped audibly, except for Tsukishima and Kuroo.

“Good for you,” the blonde middle blocker lifted his glass her way.

“Why did you quit?” Asahi asked beside Daichi.

She sighed as she tried to figure out how much to tell them, especially Asahi who worshipped her grandmother. She didn’t want to dump her family drama on him or anyone.

“I did the lawyer thing for my family.”

“Which you’re good at,” Kuroo added. “I know you became a lawyer for your family, but did you not enjoy it?”

She shrugged. “I guess, but if I don’t try to do what I wanted to do in the first place I won’t truly know.”

“Makes sense,” Suga nodded his head. “So what’s the plan? You moving back to your mom’s? Or will you stay in Tokyo?”

“Well, quitting my job means I have no income, so I’ll have to move in with—”

“Won’t your family help you out?” Asahi questioned.

She cleared her throat. “Once my grandmother finds out, she won’t be happy and that will mean that she won’t let me access any account I had. I’m basically starting from zero, but I feel hopeful,” she grinned. “Now, pour me another, Suga!” She pushed her glass towards the elementary school teacher. “Now, don’t look so grim, Asahi. It’s what I want. What I need.”

“How the princess has fallen,” Tsukishima added. “You sure you can make it along with us common folk?”

She scoffed and when she saw that her glass was filled again, she began to drink her beer while keeping eye contact with Tsukishima until it was gone. Her burp was loud, and all heads turned on her.

“You forget I am common folk,” she laughed.

After an hour, she had moved on to another table. This time she was with the Bokuto’s, Atsumu, Kageyama and Shoyo. She had checked her phone every few minutes to see if Ushijima had contacted her, but it was quiet. A part of her was scared that he wouldn’t come. Maybe he realized that she was too much. Too much drama. Too much baggage. Just too much.

“So, you quit your job,” Atsumu sighed and shook his head. “To do what?”

“She’s an artist!” Shoyo spoke for her.

“Okay, I know that” Atsumu rolled his eyes. “But what do you want to do?”

She shrugged. “I don’t have a plan…isn’t that amazing? I have no idea what my week is going to look like. Most of my life has been planned for years. Hour to hour was planned and now I don’t have anything! It feels amazing.” Maybe she was spilling more than she wanted to since she was drinking.

“Power to you,” Keiji lifted his drink towards her.

“Thank you,” she grinned.

“You have our support,” Kotaro added and placed his arm over his husband’s shoulder. “Whatever you need.”

“Hello,” the deep voice caught everyone off guard.

Riko turned to her right and her eyes went up to meet’s Ushijima’s. He was out of the Adler’s uniform and into some casual clothing. It was mostly black except for his grey scarf that hung around his neck.

“Hi,” she replied. “You’re here.”

He turned the corner of his lip up slightly. “Yes, you invited me.”

“We’re gonna go…join Kuroo and catch up,” Kotaro scooted out of the booth followed by Keiji.

“And I should check with…something,” Shoyo also got out. “Kageyama, let’s go.”

“Why?” the setter questioned. “I’m fine here.”

Shoyo chuckled and pulled on Kageyama’s arm. “Let’s go!” he whispered. “Let them have some privacy.”

“I don’t—”

“C’mon!” Shoyo was able to move Kageyama out of the booth.

Riko moved towards the middle of the booth as Ushijima sat down next to her.

“Is it okay that I’m here?” he asked as he removed his coat and scarf.

“Yes, it’s fine,” she nodded.

Ushijima eyed the table and saw the several drinks and then the one she had in her hand.

“If you need me to drive, let me know. I don’t drink, so I can take you home,” he told her.

“Thank you,” she chuckled. “I guess I should slow down.”

“You can still drink. I’m here…you’ll be safe.”

She smiled. “Okay. So, you don’t drink, like at all?”

“Socially I do, but if you’re drinking one of us has to stay sober.”

They didn’t stay alone for too long after half an hour they were surrounded and so they had to squeeze together. Ushijima got a club soda and Riko may have continued to drink. She wasn’t anxious anymore, so the alcohol was hitting her harder. She laughed along with the jokes the guys made.

Atsumu was to her left, while Ushijima remained on her right. The ace for the Adler’s settled his hand on her knee and it made her nervous for a moment, but he didn’t move his hand up. He just kept his hand there as he talked to Kuroo.

Riko felt free as a bird. She enjoyed talking to people. Normal peopled. Having normal conversations. And these people cared about her. There was no ulterior motive. They knew who she was and just saw her as a person. It was such a great feeling knowing she was surrounded by good people.

She saw the light at the end of the tunnel. She knew Monday would be hard to face, but with Ushijima at her side she felt she could do anything.

It was why when she woke up the following morning next to Ushijima, she shouldn’t have been surprised how safe she felt.

But she didn’t expect to be completely naked. Not only that she knew that she wasn’t in a bed she recognized. She doubted she was in her own room or at Ushijima’s since he had stayed with his mom and grandmother. The room was spacious and there was hardly anything to give her a clue to where she was.

Her mouth was dry. She turned to her side to face Ushijima. His back was to her and he was tucked towards the end and she wondered if she pushed him there. She tended to be a crazy sleeper when she had alcohol in her system. She tried to recall the previous night.

The last thing she clearly remembered was being at the bar. His hand was on her knee and maybe she recalled walking or stumbling out of the bar.

Ushijima had gotten her keys out of her purse for the car.

Then she recalled telling him to pull over and she threw up on the side of the road. She winced at the memory. Wherever they had gone to, he had gotten her to drink an Advil and drink water. And then darkness, but how did she end up naked? They definitely didn’t have sex. She would have felt that. 

There were still some blanks in her memory. She hoped she didn’t do anything too embarrassing.

She turned to face Ushijima’s back. She honestly didn’t care where she was as long as she was with him then she knew she was safe. That feeling wasn’t something she was used to. She was used to being on the edge of the knife all of the time. Always looking over her shoulder. Always watching what she said or what she did because it could reflect badly on her family.

Now she was free of those chains. She could go back to being herself. Less than a week back in Japan and she felt the light of hope. She was really happy in this moment.

Ushijima stirred in his sleep and then he was suddenly on his back. Her breath was taken away at the sight of a sleepy Ushijima. His hair was disheveled, and his lips were slightly parted as he continued to sleep. He must be exhausted from the game because she remembered that he would wake up every single morning for a run.

Riko moved closer to him, so she could see his features even closer. She scooted until she was next to his arm, but she didn’t touch him. She moved up until her head was near his. His head was turned towards her. She dreamt of being like this for years. She did do her best to forget him and move on, but her heart wouldn’t let go. She wasn’t sure if she was ever going to be able to be like this with him.

Tokyo was a big place, but the universe spoke and on her first day back, she ran into him. He chased her back to her hotel. She ran into him at the café. And of course, their paths would cross again because of Shoyo. Because of volleyball.

It was immensely clear to her that there wasn’t anyone else but him for her. It took all of her strength to keep herself from giggling. He wanted her. He still had feelings for her. After everything she did—or didn’t do—he still had feelings for her. She wasn’t going to let him go. Not this time. Not for a second time.

Ushijima turned again, but this time towards her and his arm went around her waist and pulled her closer. She was still very much naked, so she moaned when she felt her skin pressed against his. The heat of his skin was better than any blanket in the world. She felt like she was in a cocoon. Her eyes were heavy and in seconds she fell back in a deep slumber. A slumber she couldn’t remember ever getting. Deep.

**

Ushijima opened his eyes as his dream became a fleeting scene. He could hardly remember it. But he had been happy. His immediate attention went to Riko. She was flushed against him. Her head on his chest. His arms around her body. Her exposed body. He recalled a drunk Riko demanding to go to sleep naked and he wasn’t able to make her wear a shirt at least.

Wasn’t it just yesterday when he promised himself to keep her at a distance? Yes, and in hours it was crumpled. Because when he saw her cheering for him? It was like the wall he built around his heart shattered. He had been upset that his team lost, but he also couldn’t deny that it was a remarkable game. His blood had been bumping and he knew he had been smiling at sometimes.

Riko’s little brother kept surprising him, but he wasn’t too surprised since he was related to her. Hinata’s always seemed to improve and adapt to any circumstance.

He frowned as he thought about Riko’s words.

_**“What if the things I have to say are…dark?”** _

He wondered what she meant by that. He wanted to know. If she was comfortable with him, he wanted to know. He wanted to make her feel safe. He realized last night that Riko had repressed a lot down. For the first time in a long time she was free and he was more than happy to be there for that. He just let her do what she wanted but also kept a close eye on her.

She danced.

She sang.

And it wasn’t a karaoke bar, but she made it one.

Ushijima had been happy to see her so carefree. He didn’t care about keeping his distance anymore. In less than a week he was back where he was all those years ago. Head over heels for her. He thought he just needed closure, but he just needed her.

Riko stirred in his arms and opened her eyes. Her light brown eyes were filled with love. He was happy to know she didn’t stop loving him. As she told him drunkenly last night.

_“I pro-promise tha-that I’ve always lo-loved you, Toshi. No one else compares.”_

It would be a lie to say that didn’t satisfy him. But he also knew it was the same for him. No one else compared.

“Morning—or afternoon,” she giggled and licked her lips.

“Afternoon,” he replied.

Her eyes didn’t move from his. “Where exactly are we?”

“You don’t remember?”

She shook her head.

“Kuroo lent us his place here in Sendai. He went back to Tokyo.”

“Oh,” she yawned and brought her hand to her mouth. “Also…did I insist on sleeping naked?”

He nodded his head. “Yes. I tried to put on one of Kuroo’s clean shirts after we showered since you threw up on me in the car.”

Her eyes went full like saucers. “I threw up on you? And in the car? The rental? Oh God, what a mess I was!”

“You had fun,” he chuckled and brought his hand up to move her hand from her mouth. “There’s nothing wrong with fun.”

“Just glad I’m in Japan and not American. Otherwise, I’m sure photos would have surfaced and then—ah…I’m rambling,” she laughed.

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

Her eyes went to his chest as she explained. “In America…my family is like royalty. Celebrities. Usually when I went out, I had paparazzi following me around. My grandmother always told me to never do anything that is going to tarnish our family. Not that different from here, but…my grandmother sure always seemed to know exactly that I was doing and if stepped a toe out of line. I-I…I’d get in real trouble. The only time I managed to escape her eagle eye was when I went to see Shoyo. After that, she didn’t let me out of her sight.”

“What would she do?” Ushijima hardened his tone because he sensed something. He tilted her head upwards when he saw her bite her lower lip. “I know I’ve told you to give me a real reason as to why you shut me out, but I don’t care anymore. I really don’t. Whatever you want to share with me is okay, but as long as you’re with me, I don’t care.”

Riko’s pouted her lip. “I really want to kiss you right now, but I hate morning breath!”

He laughed. “Then let’s go shower. Kuroo said we could stay here as long as we wanted. Do you want to spend the day just relaxing?”

She grinned and nodded her head. “Yes!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so missing weekly Haikyu!! episodes. thank you all for your continued support and for reading :)


	14. this ain't lust I know this is love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title credit: chasing pavements by adele

“You went to the States?” Riko asked with a mouthful of the omelet she cooked. She and Wakatoshi sat together on the dining area next to the kitchen. She wore his recently washed Adler’s jersey because the thought of seeing her in another man’s clothes raged Ushijima. So, he took advantage of the washer and dryer and put her in his jersey, which fit her like a dress, but he was satisfied.

He answered her question with a nod. “I went to see my father. He works at the University of Irvine. He’s a coach for their volleyball team—”

“Utsui, Takashi,” Riko said and Ushijima raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“That’s right.”

Her eyes sparkled. “I’ve met him. Several times actually. He also writes on volleyball training techniques, right? When did you go visit him?”

“It’s been about four years now. I went in the Summer of 2014.”

Riko smiled sadly. “I was in the East coast then still. My dad had to stay near the hospital for the chemotherapy and I spent my summer shadowing my grandmother so she could show me how big the family business is.” Irvine wasn’t that far from where her home in Los Angeles was. “Your father is always invited to those parties my grandfather throws for the best of the best in the sports business. I had read a lot of his work to feel closer to…” she blushed and felt stupid for saying it out loud. “To feel closer to home. To you.”

Ushijima smiled and reached out his hand across the table and she took it. He squeezed her hand gently.

“What did you think of my father?” he pulled his hand back and went back to eating his food.

Riko thought about it for a moment and then realized something. “He’s so kind. So observant. He reads people’s body language so easily. It was a bit weird, but he is good at what he does.”

“I agree. Oh, I also ran into someone from Aoba Josahi.”

“Oh?”

“Iwaizumi.”

“Wow, what a small world. He went to school there?”

“He went to visit my father actually. He is also a big fan of his work. He is studying to become an athletic trainer. He actually gave me some pointers on what I should do.”

Riko smiled. “Who would have thought you’d take advice from someone you didn’t consider to be a rival.”

“I was very proud back then. Now, I see that I was born lucky. Lucky to have a father who stood up for me and asked to let me be left-handed. Lucky to have met people who humbled me when things got to my head. Your brother didn’t have the advantages that I did and yet it hasn’t stopped him.”

“Shoyo has that quality I’ve always lacked. Determination. In Rio, I realized that I was focusing too much on the bad and it was hurting me. He and…Oikawa helped me focus on what I did have and remain hopeful.”

“Oikawa?” he wondered.

Riko went on to explain her trip to Rio. How she went on a whim and how it helped her so much. But also, that she spent a lot of time with Atsumu, Bokuto and Oikawa. Argentina wasn’t the far from where they were and how easily Oikawa picked up Beach Volleyball.

“He and I became friends. We exchanged emails for a while and now we just text or use social media,” she explained.

“Hmm, you seem to make friends so easily. Just like your brother.”

Riko chuckled. “I guess. You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be?”

She shrugged. “I know you and Oikawa had this…rivalry. Well, at least for him. I know you admired his talent.”

“You think I would be jealous?” he wondered as he ate his own food. “You seemed to have met people who helped you. I’m thankful he was there for you.”

She relaxed. “I’m glad to hear that. Yes, he was…helpful. To be honest…I mostly talked to him because it always reminded me of you in some form. Not that I needed another reason since you were always on my mind—are you blushing?” she giggled after she looked up to him to see his ears and cheeks a hot pink. It was adorable to see.

Wakatoshi cleared his throat and wiped his mouth with a napkin. “I tried for a long time to forget you. Move on. I only had Satori to talk to about it. He gave me good advice, but it only took one single look at you and I was back to square one.”

She dropped her head. “I don’t want to make your life complicated. I’ve already been so much trouble.”

“The thing is…my life just got brighter with you around again,” he lifted her head so their eyes could meet. “I don’t want to be parted from you. If…you want, come with me to Poland.” Her eyes widened at his proposal. “You can paint, draw and do whatever else you want. There would be no pressure about anything. I’ll provide everything you need.”

“Are you serious, Wakatoshi?” she murmured.

“I am. You know I don’t take things lightly.”

She nodded her head in agreement. He pulled her across the table and kissed her. Riko felt at the top of the world as the seconds went by. Her head was clouded with just Wakatoshi. Then a memory came to her last night. She was on top of the bar with a bottle of beer in her hand and she was singing ‘I Belong To You’ by Muse. She even sang the French lyrics since she knew French.

She pulled back from the kiss.

“Did I…serenade you last night?” she asked in horror and watched as Wakatoshi smiled giving her the answer. “Oh, God, you must have been so embarrassed?” She sat back down on her chair.

“I thought it was cute. You still have a horrible singing voice, but you were so happy and…I didn’t mind letting everyone know who you were with,” he told her.

Riko laughed lightly and then shook her head. “I made a fool of myself, but I guess if you liked it, it’s okay. You really should tell me what else I did because I don’t need to be ambushed with pictures or videos especially from Atsumu or Tetsuro.”

“Then maybe I shouldn’t mention when you tried to give me a lap dance.”

She covered her face with her hands. “No, I didn’t.”

“You tried, but that was when I called it a night and was going to drive you home. Kuroo then offered his place for us to use since you were wailing that you didn’t want your mother to see you drunk.”

“Mom!” Riko jumped out of the chair. “I gotta call her!”

“I already called her when I put you to bed. I told her you were with me and I’d bring you home tonight.”

She sat back down and rested her forehead on the edge of the table. “I’m sorry you had to take care of drunk me. I don’t really drink so much. I mean, I have a glass of wine almost every night, but my grandmother said that a lady never gets drunk.”

“Do you hate your grandmother? She doesn’t sound like a pleasant woman.”

Riko sighed and lifted her head off the table. She didn’t meet his eyes. Instead she focused on the vase that was in the middle of the table with some daisies on it. “My grandmother is amazing…on paper. She has broken the glass ceiling many times. She has proven that a Crawford woman could do remarkable things. She juggles so much and makes it look so elegant. But that came with a price. She’s not motherly…at all. She sees emotions as weaknesses and she’s tried to teach me that, but I’ve always—”

“Been in touched with your feelings,” Wakatoshi finished. “And others. You read people really well. You know what they need or how to approach them. It sounds like a perfect skill as a sports lawyer. You have to work with different athletes and figure out what they each need or what would be good for them.”

“Yes, my dad said the same thing. My family had to keep up with appearances. They were coaching me to take over in case my dad died. Because everything goes to the first born. It always has. It’s a clause in the Crawford family will. Unless the first born abdicates then it goes to the next one.”

“Your family is old money, right? Why didn’t you stay with them to begin with?”

“My grandmother thought that I didn’t qualify as first born because it was out of wedlock, but when my dad was diagnosed with cancer and their lawyers told them that everything my dad owned would go to me if he passed, then they decided it was time to officially make me part of the family.”

“Sounds like you had a hard time,” he rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward. “And you didn’t have friends to confide in? Someone to talk to?”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Anyone who got near me was because they wanted to get close to my grandparents. I had a guy from my class bring me flowers every day of class for the whole quarter. I thought he liked me, but it turned out he just wanted to meet my grandfather. And girl friends were out of the question because they were jealous that all the guys wanted to ‘date’ me. So, yeah, I was alone. I did have some sort of friends when I had a study group, but they literally haven’t reached out since I’ve moved. I’m not there to take them to parties so they don’t care about me. It was why seeing the Karasuno guys made me feel so…good. They don’t care about my name or my grandparents not in the way the others did.”

Wakatoshi remained silent for a few moments. Riko let him maul over them and she tilted her head up, so the tears wouldn’t fall down, but it was getting harder and harder to stop those tears.

“I wish I could turn back time and have the courage to send you the letter I wrote to you telling you everything, but I knew that you would convince me to come back to Japan or you’d wait for me when I wasn’t even sure I would ever be able to set foot back here. I didn’t want you to be held back by me. But in a way I guess I did that by leaving you in the dark.”

She moved her head back down to meet his eyes.

“Come here,” Wakatoshi pushed his chair back and patted his thigh.

Riko pouted her bottom lip and went to him. She sat sideways on his lap, so she was able to rest her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her, and she released the tears she had been holding back. He rubbed her back as she released all of the pent-up emotions much like she had done so in the supply closet.

It had been ages since she cried so much. Before coming back to Japan, she could only recall crying when she was with her brother. After returning she had to turn off her emotions otherwise, she would have to get lectured again.

And truly she didn’t like people seeing her cry. But with Wakatoshi there was no shame about it.

“When you left, there was a huge hole in my chest,” he spoke.

Riko buried her face in his chest. “I’m so—”

“No, don’t say ‘sorry’ anymore. I get it now,” he tilted her head up so they could look into each other’s eyes. “All I wanted was to hear why and I have. Riko, you don’t need to apologize anymore. I’m all in. Are you?” His eyes were so warm and there was that vulnerability that he never showed anyone. She is sure she has been the only person to see this side of him.

Riko knew that this was it. She needed to decide for sure that she was going to share her life with him. She only hesitated because she didn’t want her grandparents to intervene. Not again. But this time she wasn’t going to be pushed around. She wanted to be happy.

She nodded her head. “Yes, absolutely.” She closed the distance between their lips and the world melted as they kissed.

She inhaled through her nose and let the worries wash away as Wakatoshi’s tongue massaged hers. He deepened the kiss by placing his large hand on the back of her neck. Controlling how much she could move, and it stirred her body to life.

He pulled back with a wide grin another sight only for her to see.

Was this real life? She was going to finally live for herself. She was going to make her own decisions. There was that warmness in her chest she hadn’t felt in so long again…hope. Wakatoshi gave her hope.

“Want to see a movie? Or anime?” he asked. “I’ve been watching Naruto again.”

“I don’t mind watching that. It’s been a while since I’ve watched anime.”

“You didn’t watch it in the States?”

She shook her head. “Didn’t have much time for myself. My day was always jam packed with school or stuff with my family. Events and such.”

“Then you just relax then. I’ll clean up, so we don’t leave a mess for Kuroo.”

“I can help clean,” but then she stifled a yawn.

He chuckled. “It’s okay, I got it. Go rest on the couch for a bit and then we can watch anime.”

She pecked his lips. “Okay, Toshi.”

He smiled wider at that. He brought his face down so their lips were once again close, but not touching.

“Say it again,” he whispered. His voice dropped a few octaves, and it made her body quiver.

“Tosh—” Riko giggled into the kiss, but then placed her arms around his neck. After a few more minutes, she pulled back. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

One of his hands went to her thigh and he squeezed it. “Don’t tempt me. Now go to the couch,” he gently pushed her off of him. She could clearly see that he was just as excited as she was. She only had panties underneath the jersey, but she also felt the heaviness of tiredness in her bones. She listened to him went to the couch.

Kuroo sure had expensive taste. The apartment was big for one person. The living room had a big couch, so big that she was sure Wakatoshi would be able to lie down and have room to spare for her as well. She settled down on the couch and used one of the small decorative pillows to use for her head.

She sighed happily. If she was going to Poland, she was going to have to brush up on her Polish. She knew a little bit. She also had to pack, but then sleep took over and soon she closed her eyes and fell into a deep slumber.


End file.
